No Lasting Trend

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 25

2012-01-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

25.

“Crap crap crap crap crap!” Angela swore as she struggled to put on her high heeled shoes without standing still. Barely missing the doorway as she slipped the last shoe on, Angela let the momentum carry her into the bathroom, nearly taking out Jason in the process.

“Woah, there,” Jason backed out of the way and removed the razor from his throat as Angela bumped him out of the way of the mirror.

“I’m late,” Angela muttered as she hurriedly applied makeup. “It’s my first day and I’m fucking late.”

“No, you’re not,” Jason soothed, “You’ve got plenty of time to get there, and you’re nearly ready.” Jason paused at this, and took in Angela’s dressed form in surprise. “Almost completely ready,” he amended. “Wow. How’d you get dressed so fast?”

“I spent some nights last year working double shifts before class,” Angela paused long enough to apply lipstick. “I learned to change clothes quickly.”

Pausing for a moment, she stepped back and scrutinised herself in the mirror.

“How do I look?” she asked Jason. “Professional?”

“Beautiful,” Jason reached to kiss Angela but she ducked back out of his way.

“Gotta run, sorry.”

Jason shook his head good-naturedly and returned to the task of shaving.

“You’ll be fine!” he reassured her. “Don’t forget we’re having dinner with my parents tonight!”

“That’s tonight?” Angela froze in the doorway, fear creeping into her expression. We’ve only been dating a week it’s too soon to meet them…isn’t it?

“Yeah,” Jason paused again and glanced over, missing Angela’s expression as she hurried to blank the fear from it. “They want to meet you, and we figured celebrating your first day was as good an excuse as any, remember?”

“Yes…?” Angela vaguely remembered the conversation with Jason a couple of nights ago, but not the specifics. “Are…you sure you want them to meet me? Now?”

Too soon! Her mind wailed quietly, even as Jason finished shaving and towelled his face dry.

“Babe, they’ve wanted to meet you since they saw you at the graduation.” He smiled as he left the bathroom and went to collect his clothes from her bedroom. “Now go on or you really will be late! I’ll lock up.”

Angela checked her watch and yelped.

“Gone! Bye!” she yelled as she escaped out the door, setting off at a fast trot in her heels for the bus stop.

Please please please, Angela prayed silently as she raced for the stop. She couldn’t afford to be late, not today. The last thing she needed was to blow her chance with the internship; not while she was on her trial month.

No… Angela’s heart sank as she turned the corner and saw her bus pulling away from the stop. She put on a burst of speed in a desperate attempt to catch it, before a warm gust of wind hit her, blowing her bag off her shoulder.

“SHIT!” Angela clutched desperately at the contents of her purse as they went spilling onto the sidewalk. Even as she was scrambling to collect everything she could feel the bus speeding past her, heading up the road she’d come out on.

Dejection filled Angela as she stood and slowly finished her approach to the bus stop, her mind envisioning the worst case scenario as all but a foregone conclusion.

Terrific. Everything you worked for, down the drain just like that…maybe you should have just sucked it up and taken your car – city parking isn’t that expensive…

Angela’s brooding was cut short by the miraculously familiar rumble of another bus approaching. Not quite daring to hope, she pulled the folded timetable from her purse and checked it against the one printed on the wall of the bus stop.

Of all the…Angela couldn’t believe her luck: an express had been added to the circuit, pulling up now. Thank God, Angela cheered silently as she got on the bus and paid her fair. Something about that thought rang ironic to her, and Angela let out a short bark of laughter as she found a seat.

She wasn’t laughing five minutes later, as traffic slowed to a crawl and sirens began to ring in the distance. Accident, Angela thought, as her bus turned off the main road onto its express rout and bypassed the gridlock. Craning her head to see, Angela felt a cold chill as she saw the twisted wrecks of the vehicles involved in the accident.

The bus she’d been so desperate to catch minutes earlier now lay in pieces on the road.

The Beginning

Back to School

2012-01-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

Today marks the start of my return to university - I have orientation.

Why I need to attend two days of it, I'll never know, but it's a requirement for international students. My guess is that it is probably going to be more relevant to the ESL students, but I do have a couple of questions.

Still - two days? Really? Obviously you haven't considered the people who aren't going to be living on campus.

Oh well. Such is life. Orientation today and tomorrow, and then next week I start my classes.

Thoughts on the whole thing so far: My textbooks are weird.

Thank is all.

I Bring You Tidings

2012-01-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

A kind of sequel to Old Time's Sake.

~~~~~~~~~~

The church was packed, and not just with the usual excess of ‘holiday Christians’ that only came out for Christmas and – occasionally – Easter. There’d been a number of nasty murders in the area this past week; mostly on the streets, but there was at least one home invasion that was being associated to the killers (although the odds were just as likely that it was opportunists taking advantage of the current manhunt).

A lot of people had come to pray for their safety.

Nevertheless, they managed to get a seat near the front, cramped though it was. She was nestled in the crook of his arm, eyes lidded as they listened to the melodious Latin hymns, and almost missed it. He didn’t, though, tensing immediately and alerting her to the new person that had entered the church.

That was watching her.

“Damn it,” she hissed, making as if to straighten in her seat. He tightened his arm, stopping her.

“Don’t,” he warned under his breath. “Don’t let him catch on.”

“Why tonight?”

“Didn’t you say he often came here?”

“Only when it served his own ego or purpose.” She almost growled, but he soothed her with a gentle kiss on her temple.

“Enjoy the music, Love.”

“That’s the only reason you come to these things, isn’t it?” She chuckled softly, and felt him shake with his own laughter.

“Not the only reason.”

“Oh?”

“I like the way you smile.” His words rewarded him with the very thing, and she relaxed minutely in his arms.

He didn’t get up for communion. He never did, but she stole a look as she moved along the pew. The watcher’s gaze never shifted from her, and yet for all his attention, he didn’t see her glance. But then, he only ever saw what he wanted to.

“So what do we do?” She asked when she returned to his side, hands demurely clasped in her lap and head bowed in silent… something.

“What we always do, Love,” he murmured, before his voice dropped another octave, until it seemed impossible for anyone to hear him, let alone her. “Don’t engage. Let me speak to him.”

“But-“

“Love,” he cautioned, silencing her protest as another hymn started. “Please. Let me.”

“If you’re seen talking to him…”

“I won’t be,” he purred, smiling in her ear. “It’s high time he paid the price for what he did.”

“He’d tell you he committed no crime, you know.”

“From what I know of him, he always has been good at lying, even to himself.”

The priest invited them all to stand for the final blessing, before encouraging the patrons to wish their companions and neighbours a merry Christmas. He embraced her, eyes flicking to the back of the church.

“White shirt, by the fire exit?”

“Yes.”

They turned and smiled to the people next to them, shaking hands and wishing well, before quieting for the recessional. They waited until most of the crowd had left, chatting idly with some of the people that recognised her from days of old, while he carefully watched the back of the church. The watcher never moved, though his attention was occasionally pulled by his own kin.

Eventually, they began to move towards the exit. And past the watcher, who – for all his attentiveness – didn’t see her walk past him. Once outside, they moved to the shadowed parking lot, where he embraced and kissed her.

“Go on. I’ll catch up soon.”

“You’d better not be late for our date,” she warned. He laughed.

“Perish the thought, Darling.”

Kissing him again, she parted reluctantly from her husband and began to walk down the shadowed path towards the park. It was quiet, this year – not many people wanted to go to such an isolated place with a killer on the loose.

He watched her go, before turning and walking back to the church to speak with the man who had raped her.

And if it went the way he suspected, there was going to be another death that night.

And on Christmas Eve, too. What a pity.

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 24

2012-01-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

24.

Birdsong woke Angela early. Too early, especially for a Saturday. She opened her eyes and stared at the unfamiliar wall opposite.

The room had an almost military neatness to it, a drastic contrast to the organised clutter that made up Angela’s own room. She lay where she was for what felt like an age, trying to decide if she should stir and risk waking Jason.

As if reacting to her thoughts, Jason rolled over and slung his arm across Angela’s midsection. Waking up enough to notice his bed wasn’t empty, Jason cradled Angela’s stomach and slowly pulled her across the bed towards him.

“Good morning,” he mumbled sleepily into her ear as he snuggled closer. Angela resisted the urge to squirm from his grasp – she’d never been one of those people who could snuggle after sex (or the morning after), usually waiting long enough for the guy to fall asleep before moving to the opposite side of the bed – this time Angela settled for a slow stretch that woke her body up enough to tell her she had an excuse to escape his grasp.

“Bathroom?” she asked, carefully untangling herself from Jason’s arms.

“First door on the left,” he yawned, watching Angela move as she got out of the bed and snagged a shirt from his laundry basket.

Closing the bathroom door behind her, Angela combed her hair with her fingers as she took care of her body’s more pressing needs. While she was washing her hands, Angela caught her reflection in the cabinet mirror and paused to look at herself.

Did she always look this tired? It was hard to tell behind the makeup she hadn’t bothered to take off the night before. Taking advantage of the moment, Angela scrubbed her face with cold water until the dark smudges were gone.

Better, she thought to herself. Not great, but better.

Another, smaller voice attempted to intrude:

…is this right?

Pushing away the thought, Angela left the bathroom and padded quietly back to Jason’s room.

“That’s a sight I could get used to,” Jason smiled as he took in Angela’s body underneath his shirt.

“What, a girl in your clothes?” Angela grinned wryly as she returned to the bed and lay on it without getting under the covers.

“If you want to see it that way,” Jason shrugged. “I didn’t just mean any girl though…”

He gave her another Look then, as subtle with its hidden meaning as a brick to the side of the head. Something twisted inside Angela, tried to complain, but she growled at it silently even as she dazzled Jason with another of her fake smiles, causing his own face to brighten with a level of hope that was both endearing and heartbreaking.

“So,” Angela broke the silence that had started to build. “How about some breakfast?”

The Beginning

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Here's to 2012, my darlings.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-27T16:13:00.002-07:00

Hello, my darlings, and Merry Christmas.

Apologies for my silence this past fortnight, but as I warned you, I've been busy visiting kin back in New Zealand. Let me go fall over, recover on my jetlag, and regroup my brain, and who knows - maybe I'll be able to put something pseudo-interesting up here before too long.

<3

Yeeeeah... The Second

2011-12-11T13:01:00.001-07:00

Okay! So remember when I tried to review Batman? Well, now I have more vodka. Let’s try this again...

Penguin, Joker, Riddler, AND Catwoman?! Egads, it’s the end of the world!

Let’s cut to Catwoman bitching out the boys.

“We’ve got to get Batman before he gets us!”

So, naturally, they begin debating nefarious plans to stop Batman and Robin. It’s the Riddler who suggests they each play to their strengths, and create a trap that... I’m still too sober to try and figure out.

Here’s what I have picked up, though: The plan involves kidnapping a millionaire. And who better to kidnap, than Bruce Wayne? Why, that’s the perfect ‘square’ that Batman would work to save!

We cut to Catwoman pretending to be a Russian again, wooing Bruce. Her accent is terrible. And Adam West’s flirty-face is creepy. I admit, he has the voice, but his eyes are all wrong. Catwoman pretends to be all over it, however, and they agree to have a dinner date.

Once she’s gone, it’s back to the Batcave. With some riddles for Robin.

“What has yellow skin, and writes?”

“A BALL-POINT BANANA.”

...

I’m sorry, WHAT? WHAT?! That’s not a riddle! That’s- it’s SHITTY, SHITTY WRITING.

Somehow, the only possible meaning of this riddle, and another shitty one about Russians, is that Russian!Catwoman is going to die on a banana.

Batman is jonesing for a date – international relations, don’t you know - so he makes sure everyone’s ready to stand guard to protect his date, and flaps off.

I... I really don’t know what’s happening anymore.

DID ALFRED JUST DRIVE BY IN THE BATMOBILE?!

I will say this; Catwoman has an amazing figure.

HE IS. ALFRED IS TOTALLY DRIVING THE BATMOBILE. WITH THE SHITTIEST EYE-MASK OF ANONYMITY. WHAT IS GOING ON?!

So... Robin has them flash the bat-signal, because he is a cockblocker? But nevertheless, Catwoman continues to fake!Russian her way into his pants, and signals the others.

“Break out the jetpack umbrellas!”

“Yo-ho, Sir!”

Robin and Alfred are spying on Bruce and Catwoman making out, only it’s “not the decent thing to do”, so naturally they stop watching before the trap is sprung. Probably just as well, because now Bruce is quoting Poe.

But yay! The bad guys show up and a punch-up ensues. Bruce does okay, but obviously he can’t win because he’s TOTALLY NOT BATMAN, GUYS. HE’S BRUCE WAYNE. LIKE, HOW COULD YOU EVER MISTAKE THE TWO?

We cut to the newspapers: BRUCE WAYNE AND GIRL COMPANION KIDNAPPED.

And now everyone is rly, rly shocked as to why Batman hasn’t shown up yet?

Bruce comes to, wants to know where Russian!Catwoman is (nevermind that Catwoman is standing in front of him), and starts to threaten to kill them all.

Uh... Bruce? That’s... not Batman’s MO. Like, at all.

But he’s desperate to know where “Miss Kitka” is, so they blindfold him and Catwoman changes costumes again.

“I’ve got it! I have a transmitter strapped to my wrist!”

“What an odd thing to carry, Mr. Wayne.”

“Not at all. For Capitalists like myself who carry large sums of money on their person, it’s essential for our safety.”

Of course it is.

Well, the rogues get him out before he can access it, and he has another fight. This time, he manages to escape, though not without first trying to save “Miss Kitka.”

We cut back to the rogues plotting plan J (or whatever), and they decide to “Fetch the five Guinea Pigs!” Five dudes in black sweaters with GP1-5 on them show up, and the Penquin tells them how he’s going to... turn them all into dust?

Oooookay. And the GPs just stand there...

So they bottle the dust, and the Penquin now has... a pocket full of thugs? Just add water? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

While Batman and Robin walk up the wall, thanks to some amazingly bad camera work, Batman and Robin wax poetic on the evils of drink. “I’d rather be dead than not be able to trust my eyes, Batman!”

Of course you would, Robin.

So they’re breaking back into the lair because Batman STILL wants to save his fake Russian girlfriend, and he’s greeted by one of those comic-book style bombs (the round black kind), and is trying to get rid of it. Cue every possible person he wouldn’t want to blow up – nuns, babies, parades...

HOLY WORLD’S LONGEST FUSE, BATMAN!

Like, seriously. It’s been three minutes at least, and he still hasn’t found somewhere to drop it, DESPITE BEING SURROUNDED BY WATER.

I particularly love how no one will get out of his way, and even baby ducks are stopping him.

“Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.”

Okay, I admit that was kind of amazing. Not good, but amazing.

BOOM!

“Batman! Batman!”

“It’s alright, Robin.”

“Holy heart-failure, Batman!”

They’re talking, yet again, about drinkers and why Batman didn’t blow them up, and the Penguin shows up in disguise. Despite being no worse than Catwoman’s, it doesn’t hold with Batman and Robin, which raises the question as to WHY BATMAN NEVER FIGURED OUT WHO “MISS KITKA” WAS!

Penguin agrees to be taken to the Batcave for questioning, and once he’s there he asks for water.

“Over there, it’s clearly marked.” Yes, yes it is. Penguin goes to the ~~BAT-~~DRINKING WATER DISPENSER, and regrows his Guinea Pigs.

Only... they disappear as soon as they’re hit. Whaaaaat?

Let’s pause, for Robin to be genuinely sad – GENUINELY SAD – that these thugs won’t be coming back.

Batman suddenly acts like he believes the Penguin isn’t the Penguin, then feeds Robin drugs while they’re driving the Penguin... somewhere. They apparently have car trouble, but are then gassed and carjacked by the Penguin.

“Thanks for that anti-Penguin-gas pill, Batman!”

*groaaaaan*

They have a convenient Bat-cycle (with side-car), and they’re off to the Bat-copter!

Something happens, I don’t care, but suddenly there’s a rocket. Batman and Robin are... nearly killed again, but conveniently land in a foam rubber convention.

MORE RIDDLES IN THE SKY. Something to do with eggs and apple sauce, and suddenly the... world peace organisation (or whatever it’s called) is in trouble.

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA...

They’re running on foot, for some reason, and it’s a race against time to get there in time!

OH HAY, IT’S A RACIST STEREOTYPE CONVENTION! And they’re so caught up being Racist Stereotypes, that they don’t even notice when the Joker starts dehydrating them into dust.

Wow. Just. Wow.

“Quickly now! Each one into a separate vial! And boys... don’t anybody sneeze.”

Batman and Robin show up, and Catoman successfully threatens her Russian alter ego to keep Batman at bay.

THERE’S STILL 40 MINUTES TO GO?! Auuuuuuuuugh.

The rogues are in a submarine, so start firing more rockets to try and stop Batman. Naturally, it doesn’t work (pity, really).

“What’s their bearing?”

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“What?” (Yeah, what?)

“It’s changing every second! They must be circling us!”

Er, okay. Robin then starts bombing the shit out of the submarine, and the rogues begin to panic. They surface, in a completely different area from where Batman and Robin were (which... whatever), and they go to board ‘em.

Cue another Zap! Pow! Fight. That goes on for aaaaaaaaages.

The end(?) result is all the guys are in the water, and Catwoman is still high and dry in the sub. She escapes inside, trips and falls (???), knocks her mask off, and GASP! Batman finally learns the truth! And proceeds to give us a BSoD.

They find the Racist Stereotype powder, and some idiot manages to break the flasks and sneeze.

Let’s cut back to the Batcave! Where Batman and Robin (in lab coats UNDER their capes) work to reverse the... powdering?

Everyone is waiting anxiously! Even the president! And somehow, through the power of handwavium, it works! We are ready to re-hydrate! Are you anxious? I’m anxious.

Except, y’know, how I’m not.

For some reason, they take the powder back to the room where the guys were all yelling at each other, and Robin uses a garden hose to spray everyone back to existence. Yaaaaay! Except everyone’s still fighting and being horrible people. Aaaaaand everyone’s been mixed, so the Brit is a Nazi, the Nigerian is French...

But according to Batman, this mixing of minds may be a GOOD THING. “Let’s go. But inconspicuously. Through the window.”

This is painful. Is it over yet? YES. OH THANK FUCK, IT’S OVER.

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 23

2011-12-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

23.

For a first date that takes place at a graduation party, there’s a certain limitation on the level of romance that can actually be achieved. Having said that, Angela did have to give Jason points for trying.

He’d shown up promptly, and had presented her with a bouquet of brightly colored flowers.

(They should have been roses)

They really were beautiful, and smelled lovely, and Angela told Jason as much, thanking him with a smile that never touched her eyes as she placed them in water, before he walked her out to his car. The party wasn’t too far away, and the night was perfectly clear…

(Tuyen would have suggested they walk)

But it was far enough away to justify a car. Just in case it rained, Jason pointed out. Or so they had the option of returning to his place? Angela wondered.

The party was full of faces that were at most vaguely familiar to Angela. Maybe from taking one class or another together, maybe just from being on the campus for nearly four years now.

Angela felt inexplicably shy at the large crowd, wanting to hide in a quiet corner, but she knew Jason wasn’t going to leave her side, and could tell he knew a lot of people here and wanted to mingle.

(Tuyen wouldn’t have cared if he’d known everyone he’d have asked what you wanted)

SHUT UP

And so, smiling as prettily as she could manage, Angela let Jason guide her around the party, making pleasant small talk as she was introduced.

She did have to hand it to Jason; he was wonderfully charming, and never made her feel like a showpiece. And he did seem utterly infatuated with her. It was a nice feeling for Angela, to have someone clearly in like with her and not… upset

(Panicked?)

by the fact.

Still and even so, there was only so much drinking and socializing Angela could manage with a smile on her face, before she felt herself beginning to wilt a little bit.

Jason had rested his arm around her, and she found herself leaning into him enough that it got his attention.

“You okay?” he murmured in her ear. His breath tickled, but Angela resisted the urge to flinch away.

(Tuyen’s breath never tickled)

“Just…a bit tired, I guess,” Angela smiled up at Jason. He nodded understanding.

“Would you like to get out of here then? Maybe go and get some dinner?”

“Dinner would be nice,” Angela admitted. “But where’s open?”

“Oh,” Jason smirked, “I think I know a place. Come on.”

With a feigned air of carelessness that told Angela he’d had it planned right from the start, Jason drove them to a quiet Italian restaurant, packed with couples sitting across from each other and smiling like love-sick puppies.

Oh Jason, Angela had to suppress a smile, this is too cheesy not to be deliberate. He certainly was pursuing Angela with an effort that was somewhat flattering.

(But it’s not Tuyen)

They were shown to their table and, despite the filled restaurant, served reasonably quickly. Jason entertained Angela with various humorous stories about his family; his easy air and the alcohol helping Angela’s smile become less affected.

She did enjoy his company, she had to admit. But romantically? That was still to be decided. Regardless, Angela found herself deciding, even before they were finished with their meal, that she would go home with him.

Was it worrying that she was unable to tell if this was a good idea or not?

(Everything with Tuyen felt right, but…)

But this did not involve angels. And Jason was here, and real, and not afraid of her.

And he loved her. Angela was certain he did.

Maybe… she thought, as Jason drove her back to his apartment and led her to the bedroom. Maybe if she gave herself a chance, she could love him too.

The Beginning

Well.

2011-12-01T11:07:00.001-07:00

I was going to copy over a post I made to another online entity, but the formatting died on me and I can't be assed fiddling with it.

It really is high time I put an update here, though.

Today is my last day in the shithole that has been my job since June, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Contrary to all my moaning online, I really have tried to keep a positive attitude to working here, but some things just hurt my brain too much. The fact that, on my last day, a fired employee calls while jacked up on drugs to confirm that he really was fired some months back... that just kind of shows you what I've been dealing with, here.

I've been accepted into the course I wanted at BSU, and I start in January. In two weeks, I'm going back to New Zealand to see my family, meet my Niece and Goddaughter (I have a niece and I'm going to be her Godmother. What.), introduce Boyfriend to the Gauntlet, and sort out my student visa, before returning after Christmas.

I am a third degree brown belt in Kung Fu. I plan to be a black belt by the end of next year.

Life is... surprisingly good. Well, not surprising, really. I guess I'm just amazed at how some things have developed of late. It's not going to be easy - money may be a problem, and there are conditions to my studies that must be met, but I'm confident I'll get through.

I do apologise, though, my darlings. I have really neglected this blog for a while. I have no excuse, save for the complete and utter exhaustion that some of my other pursuits have left me with. We'll see how things develop, though. The writing continues, most certainly. And who knows, maybe one day I'll even find an agent.

All that's for Future!Me, however. Right now, I'm just enjoying the calm before the next bout of crazy. No doubt, it's just around the corner.

<3

HAH!

2011-11-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

I guess last year wasn't a fluke!

Cripes, it took a lot out of me this time, though...

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 22

2011-11-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

22.

“Hey, Angela! Sharon!”

The two girls turned around at the sound of their names to recognise a young man moving through the crowd towards them, his robe and hood marking him another fellow graduate.

He smiled at the two girls as he came close, an easy smile that was almost infectious, even so much as to break through the melancholic haze that had enveloped Angela for weeks, and rouse her from her thoughts.

“Hey Jason, how’s it going?” Sharon grinned up at the tall figure. “You’ve grown since accounting.”

Jason shrugged and continued to grin. “I guess,” he said, before switching his gaze to Angela. “I hear you got the internship. Congratulations Angela.”

Angela shrugged and smiled up at Jason, her smile displaying a warmth that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thanks, Jase. What about you? Weren’t you going for a finance one?”

“More than one,” Jason laughed easily. “I got the only one I applied for that wasn’t overseas in another country.”

“I’m sorry? I know you wanted to travel as soon as you could.”

“Aw, yeah,” Jason waved his hand in a dismissing manner. “I’ll go in a few years. This’ll give me a chance to save up some money, get some experience, find the right girl...”

He looked at Angela then, a meaningful expression on his face that was lost on her as she’d dropped her head in thought, not really paying attention. Noticing this, Sharon surreptitiously smacked herself in the forehead at her friend’s density of the situation.

An awkward silence that only Jason seemed to notice settled briefly, before he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Anyway, some guys are having a party tonight to celebrate, and I was wondering if you wanted to come?” Jason directed his offer to both of them but Sharon noticed how his gaze only left Angela once to look at her with an almost pleading expression.

Briefly, Sharon was at a crossroad, wondering if she should try to tell Jason about Tuyen. Tell him what? Her mind asked. Did they ever end up dating? Besides, something’s happened between the two. Doesn’t take rocket science to figure that out. Maybe this is just what she needs… Smiling to herself as she made her decision, Sharon began to back away from the pair.

“Sorry, Jason, I already had plans, but I think Angela’s free.” Her eyes twinkled as Angela lifted her head to look at her friend in confusion.

Winking, Sharon mouthed the words, “You’re welcome,” before pretending to recognize someone in the midst of the crowd and moving off.

“So how about it, Angela?” Jason’s grin lost some of its ease and became more hopeful. “I’ll pick you up at eight?”

Turning back to face him, Angela opened her mouth to say she couldn’t go, before she stopped herself.

It wasn’t until after she’d started avoiding Tuyen that Angela became aware of how she’d been declining the few (but still existent) dates that had been offered to her since her laughable courtship with the angel had begun. It hadn’t occurred to her during the fact, but since then she had begun to wonder if she’d been doing it as an unconscious attempt to make more of her relationship with Tuyen than ever existed.

Trying to validate something that she was only imagining.

Her almost instant decline for any such invitation had become such a habit, that Angela actually had to stop now and rethink the situation. It had been so long since she’d been on a real date, Angela wasn’t even sure if she missed it or not.

Still, she thought to herself, I could do worse than Jason. He certainly does have a lot going for him. Angela looked more seriously now at the figure before her.

He was tall and reasonably handsome, with sandy hair that he kept as tidy as the rest of his figure. He was almost military in the standard of his appearance; something he was well aware of and often joked about when she’d first met him in her freshman year.

He hadn’t been interested in her then, though… or had he? Angela had been in the car accident that took her parents’ lives less than a year before she’d started her tertiary studies. Emotionally, she’d still been recovering from the mental hurt of her orphaning, and had probably missed any advances Jason had made at her.

Just as she had almost missed them this time, caught up in her self pity over the angel.

At that thought, Angela felt a brief flare of anger at just how much an effect Tuyen still seemed to be having on her life.

Damn it, no one died this time!

Making up her mind, Angela smiled up at Jason, trying her hardest to make the smile more real.

“Sure Jason, I’d love to go with you.”

His grin widened once more with pleasure. “You will? Great!” He glanced away for a moment as someone – his mother, Angela guessed – called his name, before he turned back to Angela and gave her a wry shrug. “Well, hey, I gotta go do this whole photo thing with my folks, but I’ll see you tonight?”

“Okay, great.” Angela nodded as Jason turned and went back to his family, the smile fading as soon as his back was turned. Sighing softly to herself, Angela looked around at the crowd to see if there was anyone else she recognized, before she removed her cap and left the campus park.

When she got home, Angela sat on her bed and looked at the envelope Tuyen had given her. Her curiosity prompted her to open it, to see what he had to say, but something – the prevailing hurt and anger, perhaps – made her hesitate.

Not now, she thought. Not yet. Moving off her bed, Angela knelt beside it and pulled out a box she had stored under there, now filled with most of the gifts she had received from the angel since they met.

A week after Tuyen had shown his true form, Angela had gone through her room and taken down everything of his, hiding it under her bed as if trying to hide all her memories. Opening the cover of the top book – Greek Mythology – Angela slid the envelope into it and returned it to the box, replacing the lid and sliding it back under her bed.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Getting up from the floor, Angela began hunting through her wardrobe for something to wear for her date, trying to ignore just how bare her room now seemed without Tuyen’s gifts.

And failing completely to notice how she hadn’t even considered removing the feather that still hung around her neck.

The Beginning

Sabretooth

2011-11-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

You know, I don't even have words for this movie. On the one hand, it has a cast-list of surprisingly well-known/successful actors, but this...
It's like they all got drunk at a party and did some horribly incriminating things - maybe bodies were involved? - the director caught them on film, and this is how they're ensuring his silence.

I just... I don't even know how to explain it. The premise is basic enough: scientists have recreated the sabretooth tiger, it escapes into the wild, and we follow the exploits of some campers trying to survive, a hunter who thinks he's chasing a lion, and the scientist who - despite it having nommed a number of people - still wants it alive.

The effects are atrocious. We flip flop from some of the worst animatronics I have ever seen, to CGI that causes actual, physical pain to the eyes when you try to focus on it. The characters are all morons - the one black guy is problematically stereotyped, and at one point even decides he's man enough to go knife-to-tooth with the sabretooth. As in, he... fences with its teeth instead of trying to kill it. Spoiler alert: He loses.

And the final climax? In no realm of logic does it make sense. Yes, coaxing a large predator to jump onto a sharpened stick is an effective way of wounding it, but the force and momentum of its attack would have snapped that twig, squished you, and likely only pissed the kitty off.

I honestly, truly do not have a single nice thing to say about this movie. And yet, it was so utterly, completely retarded that I couldn't help but enjoy myself. Maybe it's just because I could tell from the first badly executed death scene that this movie was going to suck to an epic degree.

Or maybe I just really, really need to try and get back on top of my insomnia.

Who knows. Still, Sabretooth has potential as a drinking game, if nothing else...

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 21

2011-11-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

21.

The day of the graduation ceremony dawned bright and clear, if a little chilly. Angela woke early, drifting through the house listlessly until she found herself sitting in the kitchen in her dressing gown, staring at a cup of coffee as it slowly cooled in her hands.

She was jerked out of her thoughts when Sharon knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a reply. She was already in her robe and had her hood and cap in a plastic bag, all ready to be put on.

She started when she saw Angela sitting in the kitchen silently, the look of surprise soon replaced by a frown of confusion.

“Geez girl why aren’t you ready? This is the big day!” Sharon grinned. “I always thought you’d be the one waiting for me.”

Angela gave her a tired smile before she finally took a gulp of coffee. Grimacing slightly at its cold temperature, she got up and placed the half empty cup in the sink.

“Sorry,” she managed to force a grin. “Was just caught up in my thoughts, I guess. I won’t be long; I just need to have a shower.”

“Well hurry up, okay? I don’t wanna be late or anything.”

Nodding, Angela disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom. A few moments later, Sharon heard the shower turn on, and moved to sit at the kitchen table to wait.

Her eyes caught a haphazardly stacked pile of books and magazines on the edge of the table. Tilting her head, Sharon read the title of the top book: Do Angels Walk Among Us?

Shaking her head in bemusement, Sharon settled back in her seat to wait for Angela, quietly puzzling over how strange her friend had become lately.

She suspected it had something to do with Tuyen and his sudden absence. Not that Sharon had seen a lot of him when he had been around, but his presence held a noticeable affect on her friend, as did his lack thereof.

She itched to ask Angela about it, but for the life of her didn’t know how to approach the topic. Not after her reaction the last time he’d upset her.

Bloody hell, Tuyen, what did you do this time?

“Oh my God, I can’t believe we’ve finally made it!” Sharon gushed as they made their way through the growing throng of students and proud parents.

Angela smiled and nodded, half distracted as she recognized and was greeted by various acquaintances and friends from past classes.

“I know, it feels like we’ve been in school forever. It’s going to be so strange not going to classes or exams anymore.”

“Well, at least you have that job waiting for you,” Sharon punched her friend gently in the arm. “I still have to find a real job.”

“You will, Shar, don’t worry,” Angela was going to say more, when she recognized a solitary figure standing by the gates of the university, watching the throng of people. A strange feeling flip-flopped in her stomach.

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you. Save me a seat?” Angela moved off before her friend could answer.

“Huh?” Sharon looked around, but Angela had already disappeared into the crowd.

Angela’s stride was hesitant as she moved through the crowd and towards Tuyen, her mind coming up with a score of things to say to him and discarding each one in turn.

Tuyen just watched Angela from where he stood, his face expressionless as he waited for her to work her way through the crowd.

When she got to him, the two stood there in silence for a long time. Eventually, Tuyen nodded to her graduation attire and managed a small smile.

“I believe congratulations are in order.”

“I guess,” Angela glanced at the coloured hood on her shoulder and shrugged, before dropping her head to look at the ground between them.

Tuyen waited for her to look back up at him, but when it became apparently that her gaze wasn’t going to shift, he sighed heavily and dropped his own head.

“I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t change anything, but I am. I never, ever wanted to hurt you in any way, Angela. I wanted so badly to tell you what I was but…I didn’t know how.” Tuyen rubbed the back of his neck; a telltale sign to Angela by now of his discomfort. “And I was afraid that once I did, you wouldn’t want to see me anymore.”

Angela made a noise in the back of her throat that sounded both frustrated and weary. She shook her head, angry at the tears that had started to form in her eyes. Twice, she tried to open her mouth and say something to the angel, but both times her will failed her.

Tuyen watched this quietly, his eyes taking in every nuance of her form that he could, adding it all to his memory. Something tugged at his heart as he noticed the feather still hanging around Angela’s neck – an emotion akin to both joy and sadness.

After the silence had grown more than uncomfortable, Tuyen reached into his jacket and pulled out a cream coloured envelope.

“I’m not sure if this will mean anything to you now, but I still want you to have it,” he said softly as he held it out to Angela. She looked at it dumbly for a moment before she accepted it from him.

“What is it?” she asked, her fingers tracing the texture and feeling the thickness of the paper, her eyes still avoiding Tuyen’s.

“An explanation. Hopefully, it will answer all your questions.”

“And what if I just don’t read it?”

“That…” Tuyen sighed unhappily. “That is always your choice, Goddess.”

The tears began to fall this time as Angela shook her head.

“I’m not a goddess, Tuyen,” she looked up at him angrily. “Goddesses don’t get their hearts broken.”

Tuyen held her gaze for a moment before he closed his eyes and dropped his head.

“If that is how you choose to see it,” he murmured.

A change in the tone of people around them signified that the ceremony was about to begin. Swiping at her eyes, Angela looked up at the angel; a man she now both loved and hated for a score of reasons.

“Where does this leave us, now?” she finally asked.

“Wherever you want it to,” Tuyen replied softly. Angela nodded to herself, as if she’d been expecting this answer.

“I don’t…I don’t think I want to see you anymore, Tuyen.” Angela’s voice cracked slightly. “At least, not for now. Things are just too…” she trailed off, unsure of her words. Tuyen nodded and swallowed slightly.

“You’d better go,” he murmured, “they’re about to start.”

Their eyes caught once more, the sadness in Tuyen’s matched by the dull anger in Angela’s. Hesitantly, Tuyen reached out and gently rested his palm against Angela’s cheek. Closing her eyes, she leaned against it for a moment, before she turned and walked away without another word. Tuyen let his hand drop and watched as she disappeared into the crowd.

“I’ll always watch over you,” he whispered to himself as first of his tears began to fall. “My darling Goddess.”

He stayed to watch the start of the ceremony, always staying on the outskirts of the grounds. But as Angela crossed the stage to receive her degree, she found herself searching for him in the crowd, only to find that the angel had once more disappeared.

The Beginning

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T06:51:00.000-06:00

Happy Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween
Happy Happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

Halloween Review: Cujo

2011-10-28T18:27:00.000-06:00

Holy crap, another one! It’s almost like I’m on a roll!

Today’s movie? Cujo. A 1983 film based on the 1981 Stephen King novel. One of my favourite books, too.

Let’s get started. We open without too much preamble, to show Cujo – a Saint Bernard of fluffy adorable – chasing a bunny rabbit. All the way into a cave filled with rabid bats. This isn’t going to end well.

As Cujo barks, the bats get angry, and one of them takes a bite out of the pup. Suddenly, Cujo isn’t interested in the game anymore, and we cut away to a house at night, where a little boy is clearly afraid of the shadows in his closet. Cos that’s where monsters lurk, don’t you know.

It’s… an odd scene. Very dreamlike, and from the way his parents react when he screams, they’re used to this display, and quickly brush aside his fears, reassuring him in the tired but loving way of parents who have recited the same speech many-a-time.

When we cut to morning, Tad – the kid – has moved all the furniture in his room to barricade the wardrobe. Heh. Determined kid. While the family goes about their morning ritual and seem very sweet together, Steve the carpenter/friend? shows up, and Tad’s mother Donna starts acting odd until he goes.

We soon learn that this is because Donna’s having an affair with Steve. Of course.

Not a lot happens for the next little bit. Just typical family interaction – Father Vic is aware that something isn’t right, but he doesn’t know what, or how to remedy.

Later, Vic tries to get his car looked at, and when the first mechanic tells him it’ll take a while, the postman sends him to Joe Camber, just up out of the way of civilisation.

There, we meet Joe and his wife and his son, and their dog – Cujo!

Donna gets anxious, but Brett (Joe Jr.) reassures that Cujo loves kids! And at the moment, he’s still in friendly mode, though we see the bite on his nose.

Cut to bedtime at Casa Dysfunctional, and Vic is reciting “The Monster Words” that he devised in order to reassure Tad. It seems to work, and when he retires to his own bed, Donna is looking at him with the look of “Oh crap, maybe I do still love you.”

The next thing we see is a news report regarding the cereal that Vic runs the ad campaign for. Thanks to some excess red dye, and a stomach bug going around, the brand takes a pounding when people think they’re throwing up blood. This means Vic and his coworker soon find out that they’ll have to leave town to try and fix this PR nightmare.

Oh by the way, did I mention that Joe is a mechanic? With loud machinery? Yeah, for some reason, that’s starting to hurt Cujo’s ears. Hmm.

Let’s cut to Donna. Oh good! She’s manning up and ending the affair. Considering Vic seems to be a genuinely nice guy, I approve. Because this is a movie, though, Steve isn’t going to take it well. Of course. And while he’s running outside to yell at her, Vic drives by.

More than a little confused by the scene, he turns back, but Donna’s already gone to pick up Tad from school. We get to see her car pitch a fit while they drive. Ominous.

Vic ‘s already home, and tries to coax an explanation out of his wife, but she acts innocent. As Boyfriend pointed out – statistically, more people in an affair are found out after they try to end it.

We cut to the Cambers, and see a couple of things – Cujo is growly, Joe is a drunk, and Mrs. Camber has bought show an expensive piece of equipment. Now how in the hell did she get the money?

She explains that she won the lottery - $5,000 – and Joe can have all that’s left if he’ll let her do one thing: take her son away for a week to visit her sister in Connecticut. She wants to ogive Brett an idea of a better life than the one they live, before he becomes his father.

Joe sees this as an excuse to booze and whore around, so seems fairly okay with it. Cujo, by the way, is still in a bad mood. Gee, I wonder what’s wrong.

Steve comes over to harass Donna, and tries to get his rape on. Donna throws him off, and Vic shows up just in time to see the awkward silence. Steve makes good his escape, and Vic’s eyebrows migrate up his forehead.

“Yes, or no?”

“…Yes.”

That’s all the answer he needs, and he goes upstairs.

Later that… day? I think? Vic is trying to fix Donna’s car before he goes, and trying to keep his temper in check around his son. Hard to reassure him when your world is crashing down around you, but he does a pretty good job.

He can’t fix the car, though, so he snipes at Donna to take the car to Joe’s to have it looked at while he’s gone.

It’s foggy the next morning. Brett is getting ready to leave down with his mother, and he steps outside to feed Cujo. The dog shows up out of the mist, not looking too happy or friendly, but he has enough of his senses left to recognise his master, and so he disappears again.

Brett doesn’t see enough to know what’s wrong, but he is unsettled.

Vic is leaving for his business trip, and things are understandably a wee bit icy. Donna runs after him before he can pull onto the road, though, and makes an appeal to him. It’s over, she wants him to know that much. Vic admits that he doesn’t know what he’s going to go, and drives off.

Back to Brett. He talks to his mother about Cujo, but she doesn’t want him to tell his father – she’s terrified he’ll change his mind and won’t let them go. “Just call him once we get there, and make sure he’s feeding Cujo. That way, he’ll check on him.”

We cut to Joe’s friend/drinking buddy/neighbour, and he’s just making too much noise for Cujo’s comfort.

So Cujo eats his face. Really – more stories should end this way.

Omnomnomnomnom.

Joe goes to visit his buddy, and finds the carnage of a Cujo attack. He pretty quickly figures out that all is not well, but instead of gtfo, decides to scope the house. He’s in the middle of trying to use the phone when Cujo shows up.

“OhmyGod, you’re rabid.”

OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

Let’s cut to Donna, shall we? Who is driving the car up to the Camber house as we speak. The car does not sound happy.

Donna calls out to see if anyone’s there, then gets distracted fiddling with her kid’s seatbelt. Cujo picks that moment to try jump in the window. It’s a struggle, but she manages to get his head out long enough to roll up the windows.

Tad, understandably, wants to go home. But of course, the car won’t start. They’re trapped in king Cujo’s territory, and they’re at least 6 miles away from help.

Cue a long, hot wait in the car for the engine to die down. After a while, they manage to get it started, but when Donna’s trying to reverse it, it dies again. Well, shit.

“Mommy, can he eat his way in here?”

Who knows, kid. At this point, my money is not on the car.

The sun’s setting, and they’re still trapped. Vic tries calling home, but – and again, of course – there’s no answer.

Next drama? Tad has to pee. Donna agrees to open the door a crack, not realizing that Cujo has camped out in front of the car. Fortuitously, though, the phone inside starts to ring, and the noise sends Cujo into enough of a frenzy that he ignores the car for a while.

The next day, things are looking grim. The mailman isn’t coming (he knows they’re all out of town up that back road), it’s high summer and they don’t have much water, the car’s battery is dead…

There’s a baseball bat on the ground, though, and Donna starts eyeing it.

The phone starts ringing, and it drives Cujo into another frenzy, but this time he takes it out on the car. And man, you do not want an angry Saint Bernard mauling your car.

Vic is still trying to call them, and getting all the more anxious, while his coworker is only focused on the job at hand.

And back to Donna. Man, that was quick. These jump cuts are disorienting.

Donna quietly sneaks out of the car, and Cujo gets the jump on her, even managing to bite her. She changes her mind about getting the baseball bat, but Cujo follows her into the car and keeps savaging. Donna drives Cujo back with her thermos, though she’s not looking too good. And man, Tad will not stop screaming.

This segues into a nightmare for Vic, who decides he has to go back. And now that that scene is done, we’re back to Cujo-land again. Now, it’s basically just a staring contest/waiting game. Wonder what’ll happen if Donna goes mad and eats her kid.

Come the morning, Donna’s woken by Tad pitching a fit. No, really. He’s having a seizure. See, I knew there was a reason I hated summer. Donna manages to pull him out of it, though.

Meanwhile, Steve breaks into the house, and decides to trash it.

So, of course, when Vic gets home, he calls the cops, thinking Steve has kidnapped them. The cops ask where the car would be, though, and when Vic mentions the Cambers, they send someone out. Hi-yo Cujo, away!

While Cujo eats the cop, and Donna fails to get the dented door open, Tad throws another fit. Man, kid, terrible timing.

When the cops go back to Vic and say that Steve admitted to the home-wrecking (see what I did, thar?), but not the kidnapping, and also mentions that the cop they sent to the Cambers’ hasn’t called in, Vic runs off. In his… convertible car.

Tad’s kinda not really moving, so Donna snaps and gets out of the car, making it this time to the baseball bat. Battle of the rabid ensues, but when Cujo manages to break the baseball bat, Donna’s able to use it as a stake. She then finds the cop’s gun, and has started to lose reason, so has a little bit of trouble getting back into the car to get Tad.

She manages with some good old violence, though, gets inside, and tries to revive Tad.

She succeeds, and of course this is when a not-dead Cujo jumps through the window. So Donna shoots him, and Vic arrives.

Aw, happy ending.

You know, I think I prefer the book ending. In that, Tad died, and Donna actually bit a few people before she got treated. That, on top of the random jump-cutting, doesn’t make this the best of Stephen King translations. But overall, it’s not that bad.

Halloween Review: The Omen

2011-10-26T17:06:00.000-06:00

Edit: the formatting gods hate me today. Sorry for the smaller text

Allrighty, my darlings, let’s try another of these. Today’s pick? The Omen. This 1976 gem begins in Rome, at 6am on June the 6^th.

A man is being driven to the hospital, while in his head he is replaying what the priest told him of the child his wife just gave birth to. It’s dead. But he knows his wife will be devastated. So, when the priest says that another baby was born at the same time, but the mother died, he decides to pull a switcheroo and raise the baby as his own.

“Your wife need never know…”

And thus, we are introduced to Damien Thorn, son of Robert and Katherine Thorn. Shortly after this, Robert is named the US ambassador to Britain. Powerful man. And a happy family.

Let’s cut to his fifth birthday, shall we? In which Damien’s nanny looks at a dog and… goes to hang herself. And oh hey! There’s the ~~Second Doctor~~, I mean, a priest! And a photographer!

And then the Doctor shows up at the Embassy, telling Robert that he needs to take communion and accept Christ and this is only the beginning. Bah. Crazies these days.

The new nanny shows up – Mrs. Baylock is basically the Mary Poppins from hell.

“Have no fear, Little One, for I am here to protect thee.”

Damien smiles, like the creepy little shit he is. <3

Next thing you know, we’re going to church! But Mrs. Baylock says that Damien doesn’t wanna. Katherine won’t have any of this shit, and thus Damien joins them in the car. Only, as they approach the church, he begins to freak out, and then throws a shitfit and attacks his mother.

I have to admit, this kind of theory about demons and such not being able to enter a church is arguably erroneous, but I suppose with the argument of how they are unholy, it fits. And it makes for a fun scene in the movie, that ultimately results with the Thorns having to abandon the wedding.

Later that night, Robert talks with Katherine about how odd it is that Damien has never gotten sick in his life, but Katherine brushes it off. Robert then finds a Rottweiler (the same dog that hypno-killed the original nanny) in the house, growling at him, and chews out Mrs. Baylock for letting it in.

“But Damien loves him, Sir!”

“If we get a dog, I will do it, and I will choose it.”

Next scene! Let’s go to the zoo! Man, none of the animals seem to like Damien. The giraffes all run away, and when they drive through the monkey exhibit, the baboons attack the car. Damned dirty apes!

Wait, wrong movie.

Katherine is naturally a bit freaked out, and wants to talk to a pshrink. Understandable.

Let’s cut to a game of rugby! Did you know that the scrum is self-evident? (Just roll with it). The Doctor shows up again, tells Robert that his wide is in danger, and convinces him to meet up the next day. The photographer is also there, and takes the Doctor’s photo. He’s been noticing strange things in the photos he develops, see…

But anyway, let’s go visit the Doctor. After spouting some doomsaying prophecy (of which very little is actually in the Bible), the Doctor tells Robert that he a) needs to find out about his son’s origins, and b) needs to stop him from killing Katherine and her unborn child (oh, btw, she’s pregnant!).

Robert lol-no’s the Doctor, and stalks off. Clutching his crucifix as a storm begins to rage around him, the Doctor tries to seek refuge in a nearby church. Is that where you have the TARDIS, Doctor?

We’ll never know. Before he can get inside, lightning strikes the lightning rod, knocks it off the tower, and impales the good Doctor.

Meep.

Katherine, by the way, is not coping, and Damien is beginning to try her nerves. While Robert is asking her if the doctor she is seeing is harming more than helping, she tells him she doesn’t want any more children.

“All right.”

“Then you’ll agree to an abortion? I just found out this morning.”

It is at this point, that Robert realises the Doctor was at least right about some things. And then an anonymous caller informs him of the Doctor’s death. Uh oh…

Robert goes to see Katherine’s pshrink, who tries to convince him to allow the abortion, but he decides that no, there must have been some logic in the Doctor’s words, so he refuses and begins to race home.

While he does, Damien begins tearing around the house on his tricycle, under the watchful eye of Mrs. Baylock, who then sics him on Katherine, knocking her off the balcony and triggering a miscarriage.

She asks Robert, while in the hospital, not to let ‘him’ kill her, and while Robert is starting to realise that something is very wrong and needs righting, the photographer calls him.

See, he’s noticed that in the photos he’s taken of various people – the nanny, and the Doctor – he sees shadows that foretells their deaths. He did some digging about the Doctor’s death, and finds out that he was riddled with cancer, and had the birthmark 666 on his thigh. Or was it a tattoo? They visit his room in the church, and find it full of crosses, and wallpapered with pages from the Bible. They also find a diary that stalks Roberts actions.

While the photographer is trying to piece together what is up with all these damned 6s, Robert admits that he knows nothing about the boy he’s raising, not his family, certainly. Robert decides he needs to look into this, and – because of a photo he took of himself that has a line crossing his throat – the photographer is kind of invested in also finding out what’s up.

And so, they’re off!

First stop, the hospital in Rome where Robert agreed to the switch. Except it’s different, now – the old hospital burned down five years ago. They go inside and try to find some information, regardless, but it looks as though everything was lost. Robert implores with a nun for help, but she insists that there were no adoptions.

Robert does, however, find out about the priest, and is sent to a monastery to find him. Along the way, they find out that the Devil’s child is mean to rise in the world of politics… you mean like with an ambassador for a(n adoptive) father? Dun dun dunnnnn!

Turns out the priest… isn’t so much able to talk. What with him having being burned and struck mute and all… but after Robert cajoles (read: yells), he writes on the ground and sends them to a cemetery. They dig up the grave, and find that Damien’s mother was a jackal, and also that Robert’s son was murdered.

…~~KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!~~

Sounds like a perfect time for some Rottweilers to show up. Or an ad break, depending on how you’re watching this… The dogs attack, and the men barely make it out alive. Robert calls Katherine and tells her to gtfo, but Mrs. Baylock throws her out of a window before she can leave the hospital.

Robert is a wee bit upset about this, and comes to the conclusion that the Doctor was right. They have to kill his son. They go to a town near Jerusalem, where an excavation is taking place, and Robert meets a man who gives him the seven daggers of Megiddo, telling him this is the only way to kill Damien.

Robert starts to have doubts, and although the photographer is willing, he coincidentally gets decapitated. Robert oh-fucks for a bit, and heads home with the daggers in hand (ah, the good old days when you could carry weapons on board a plane…).

Robert goes home, locks the dog in the basement, dispatches Mrs. Baylock, and drags a very… er… reluctant Damien to hallowed ground, in order to kill him. Police show up, and we zoom in on a gun as it goes off.

We cut to a funeral, and as it slowly pans back, we find that – not only are there only two, adult-sized coffins – but Damien is there, holding hands with the US President (a good friend of Robert’s, don’t you know). He turns, and grins darkly at the camera.

I have to say, not my favourite horror – some of the inconsistencies that have perpetuated as a result do bother me, but overall it is a classic, and an enjoyable one.

Halloween Review: Night of the Living Dead

2011-10-24T12:24:00.000-06:00

So last year, when I had time , I did my reviews of original horror movies vs remakes for the week leading up to Halloween.

I had plans again for this season, but, I just really haven’t had the time. Life has been… amazingly interesting, of late.

BUT, now that I have oodles of cable channels, and because this is America, one of the channels is playing virtually nothing but horror this month. Censored, of course, but nonetheless.

So, my darlings, I’m going to see how many of these I can recap before life eats me again.

First up? Night of the Living Dead. I love this movie. This 1968 classic not only crowned George A. Romero as the King of Zombies, it redefined the zombie genre. Up until this movie, zombies were a product of voodoo, as opposed to the cannibalistic living dead we know and love today.

So let’s get started. As the credits run, we follow Barbara and her brother Johnny as they drive to a cemetery for their yearly visit to their father’s grave. While there, Johnny starts teasing Barbara about an old game he used to play.

“They’re coming to get you, Barbara. Look! There’s one now!”

Except the man he’s pointing to really is coming to get them. He’s a zombie. The first of this breed to ever grace the screen. As he approaches and attacks Barbara, Johnny defends her, only to be knocked down in the process. Barbara runs to a house, and after running around in a bit of a panic and finding a decomposing body upstairs, she runs outside and is intercepted by Ben, our main male protagonist.

The fact that Ben is the male lead, and is African American, is nothing short of amazing given the time period.

While Barbara falls mute from shock, Ben gets her in the house, beats off a few zombies, and begins barricading themselves. He tells how he stopped to get gas when he first encountered the living dead, and Barbara finally begins to explain her story.

Except, she’s a tad hysterical, and once she gets to the point about Johnny still being out there, she decides that she has to go out and get him. Ben disagrees, and when she slaps him in the face, he responds by hitting her.

Now, I’m not really an advocate for that sort of violence, but I do have to admit that I appreciated this scene, if nothing else because Barbara is extremely shrill and annoying, and it does shut her up for a bit.

With her passed out, Ben continues his work making them safe, and we overhear on the radio about this apparent plague of mass homicides:

Radio Announcer: Because of the obvious threat to untold numbers of citizens due to the crisis that is even now developing, this radio station will remain on the air day and night. This station and hundreds of other radio and TV stations throughout this part of the country are pooling their resources through an emergency network hook-up to keep you informed of all developments.

At this hour, we repeat, these are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. The murders are taking place in villages and cities, in rural homes and suburbs with no apparent pattern nor reason for the slayings. It seems to be a sudden general explosion of mass homicide. We have some descriptions of the assassins. Eyewitnesses say they are ordinary-looking people. Some say they appear to be in a kind of trance. Others describe them as being misshapen monsters.

At this point, there's no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against. Reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour. Police and sheriff's deputies and emergency ambulances are literally deluded with calls for help. The scene can be best described as mayhem. The mayors of Pittsburg, Philadelphia, and Miami, along with the governments of several eastern and midwestern states indicated that the National Guard may be mobilized at any moment, but that has not happened as yet.

The main advice news reporters have been able to get from official sources is to tell private citizens to stay inside their homes behind locked doors. Do not venture outside for any reason until the nature of this crisis has been determined, and until we can advise what course of action to take. Keep listening to radio and TV for special instructions as this crisis develops further.

Thousands of office and factory workers are being urged to stay at their places of employment, not to make any attempt to get to their homes. However, in spite of this urging and warning, streets and highways are packed with frantic people trying to reach their families or, apparently, to flee just anywhere. We repeat, the safest course of action at this time is simply to stay where you are.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've just received word that the President has called a meeting of his Cabinet to deal with the sudden epidemic of murder that has seized the eastern third of this nation. The meeting is scheduled to convene within the hour. Members of the Presidential Cabinet will be joined by officials of the FBI and military advisors. White House spokesmen are saying there will be an official announcement immediately following that meeting.

This is the latest dispatch just received in our news room. The latest word also - this is from nation press services in Washington, D.C. - tells us that the emergency Presidential conference which we just mentioned will include high-ranking scientists from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

So far, the best advice they are able to give the public is this quote from Chief T. K. Dunbar from Camden, North Carolina, who is quoted as saying, "Tell the people for God's sake to get off the streets! Tell them to go home and lock their windows and doors up tight! We don't know what kind of murder-happy characters we have here!"

Chief Dunbar's words were worn out in grisly fashion just hours ago near the small, normally peaceful town of Willard, Pennsylvania, where the driver of a tanker truck was mobbed by a cluster of apparently would-be assassins oblivious to all concerns for their own safety and blindly intent on attacking the driver. The tanker trunk went out of control and plowed into the gas pumps at a well-known eatery and truck stop known as Beakman's. The truck and gas pumps caught on fire and exploded, apparently maiming and killing gas station and restaurant employees, together with a dozen or more patrons, motorists, and pedestrians. Several bodies were found mangled and mutilated. Many others appear to have been carried off by the attackers.

Eyewitness accounts described the assassins as ordinary-looking people, misshapen monsters, people who look like they're in a trance, and creatures that look like people but behave like animals. Some tell of seeing victims that looked as if they had been torn apart.

This whole ghastly story began developing two days ago, and from that point on, these terrible events kept on snowballing in a reign of terror that has not abated. Military personnel and law enforcement agencies have been working hard in an attempt to gain some kind of control of this situation, but most of their efforts have been marginally futile up to this particular time.

Ben also discovers that the zombies don’t like fire, so he sets fire to a chair and throws it outside. As you do.

Barbara comes around while Ben starts to search the house, finding a gun, some bullets, and some shoes for Barbara (in one of her few moments of intelligence, she ditched her heels in order to run). Ben explains how they’re boarded up, have food, water, radio, weapons... They’re doing alright. But Barbara is pretty comatose. So he leaves her be for now and goes to clean away the body upstairs.

While he does this, some people show up from the basement. At first, it’s just two men, one a teenager, and the father-figure brushes off Ben’s annoyance that they didn’t come up and help at the sound of screaming.

“Why would we help you if we didn’t know what was going on?”

The father figure wants to go back down to the basement – his wife and daughter are down there, and we discover that the teenager also has a girlfriend down there – but Ben keeps repeating that they’re safe enough. Why corner yourself in a basement?

The teenager tries to placate, but the guys are at each others’ throats, vying for the alpha position, apparently.

“But the cellar is the strongest place!”

“The cellar is a death trap!”

The father figure – Mr. Cooper – says he’s going back down and he’s going to board himself up, but the teenager manages to convince him to reconsider. As Ben puts it: “At least up here we have a fighting chance.”

In the land of Bad Timing, now is when the zombies start reaching through the windows, but Ben and the teenager manage to drive them off. The teenager – Tom – decides to stay up, and brings his girlfriend Judy.

Mr. Cooper goes back downstairs, and we see his wife hovering over their young daughter, who is unwell. She was bitten by a zombie. And this, my darlings, is back before people knew what happened when you got nommed on.

Side note of interest: The word zombie was never actually used in a Romero film until Land of the Dead.

Mrs. Cooper doesn’t want to abandon their daughter downstairs, even after Tom announced that they found a TV, so they send down Judy to keep watch in order for Mr. and Mrs. to come up and have a look.

Mr. Cooper continues to act like a jackass, up to and including treating Barbara like a simpleton because she’s mute. They manage to get the TV working, and we find out more of the same.

THE DEAD ARE RETURNING TO LIFE AND EATING PEOPLE ZOMG!

We see a few interviews with people in Washington DC, and the general consensus is: “No Comment (ho shit, we’re fucked).”

Ben and Tom begin to roughly plan a way out of the house – the TV is listing “safe houses”, and it turns out there’s one not so far away. So if they can just get to the gas pump outside and refill one of the cars…
Judy is reluctant for Tom to risk himself, but he believes in the Greater Good (THE GREATER GOOD), and so wants to help Ben.

So while Mr. Cooper starts throwing out Molotov cocktails to distract the zombies, Ben and Tom leave the house to get the truck. Except Judy decides at the last minute to go with Tom, delaying them long enough for the zombies to start creeping in on them. Shit starts to go very badly from here on out.

So badly, in fact, that the truck catches fire with Tom and Judy inside. Well. Shit.
Ben runs back to the house, and has to deal with jackass Mr. Cooper, who locked him out and very nearly didn’t let him back in. Dude – he’s the most competent person in your team now that Tom’s gone.

As I’m sure you can imagine, Ben is a little ticked about this. But they move on… kinda…
Ben tries to think of alternatives – do the Coopers have access to their car? Could they maybe make a run for it? Is Barbara ever going to get her brain back?

The general answer is no, but before people can discuss any further, our survivors see that the zombies outside are actually eating Tom and Judy’s remains. These intestines have a first name, is OMNOMNOMNOM.

Let’s check in with the TV, shall we?

SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD. KILL KILL KILL.

And then the power goes out. So while Ben tries to find the fuse box, what does Mr. Cooper do? Talk to his wife about how he needs to get the gun off Ben. Because Ben is trouble! He’s already gotten two people killed!

Sigh. He just doesn’t get it. Racist prick. And yet he still stands by and looks pathetic when the zombies attack the house, while Ben is doing his level best to secure the place.

Yes. So much trouble, that good-for-nothing Ben.

Mr. Cooper retreats to the basement while the zombies try to nom on his wife. But Mrs. Cooper escapes, and retreats downstairs, to find that her daughter has become a zombie and is nomming on Daddy. And her little girl proceeds to kill her mother in order to keep on nomming.

Considering there was no restrictions about letting kids see movies in those days, I can only wonder how traumatised some audience members must have been.

Now is the point where shit gets really bad. Mr. Cooper’s a zombie, Barbara’s been nommed on, Mrs. Cooper’s a zombie, Ben’s running out of bullets…

We cut to morning, and it’s relatively calm. Ben is the only survivor, but he did survive. And we see the shooting party that is patrolling the area and killing everything that moves.

Ben hears the commotion, and looks outside the window.

Um. That thing I said about shooting everything that moves?

Yeeeeah. Poor Ben.

And that’s the end, aside from some stills that depict body-disposal. One hell of a bleak ending, for a hellishly bleak movie. And it is thanks to this movie, that the modern day zombie exists.
I love it so much. This movie is a classic. If you can't handle black & white, then I'll forgive you skipping ahead to Dawn of the Dead, but otherwise, you can't consider yourself a zombie fan if you haven't seen it.

Waaaaaatch iiiiiiiiiit.

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 20

2011-10-23T13:15:00.000-06:00

20.

Angela spent the following weeks immersed in her textbooks, trying to lose herself in her studies. When she found she had nothing left to study for, Angela simply turned her attention to textbooks of a different, more supernatural nature.

She resigned from her job at the café and holed herself up in her room, only leaving the house when she absolutely had to. Soon, it just became a matter of Angela waiting for her graduation and the subsequent internship, all the time trying to make sense of her thoughts and feelings.

She no longer felt shame. Angela didn’t take long to decide there was no point in feeling shame over something she’d have had no way of knowing without being told.

As for the anger… that never left. Although it did ebb into the background, until it wasn’t much more than a dull ache in the pit of her stomach.

Eventually, Angela reached a point where she didn’t know exactly why she was angry at Tuyen, only that she didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to relive the memories of that night.

Not now at least. She needed time for the anger to abate.

And then…then she’d have to see.

The Beginning

Cabin Fever 2

2011-10-16T16:47:00.000-06:00

So... this movie happened.

One thing that I'm still having trouble getting used to in America is the way they censor television. Back in New Zealand, violent movies are just played later, or on channels that require a code to bypass the R18 setting. Here, though, they just mute the swearwords and blur the nudity. It's... jarring. Especially in a movie like this, where 'fuck' is apparently the word of the day.

For any of you who aren't familiar with the original Cabin Fever, the premise was fairly basic - group of teens-or-older in a cabin in the woods, some water-transmitted, flesh-eating disease... Basically, an excuse for blood and violence, as always.

The sequel started with the 'surviving' (read: infected but not dead yet) guy from the first movie stumbling through the woods and infecting the water supply, before getting run over by a bus. Then, inexplicably, the credits turn into a strange cartoon that shows how the infected water is being bottled and distributed to a high school. It's... very weird, but I have to say it's actually kind of cool. There's this 80's feel to it that for a moment made me question the year the movie was made.

Once we see people starting to drink the water, we find out that it's Prom Night, and we're introduced to the characters. Absolutely none of them are memorable or likeable, and with the sound cutting out every few minutes when they swear, it's really hard to keep up with what's going on.

The 'getting ready for prom' montage is equally confusing. It's so very 80s - up to and including a references to The Karate Kid, any John Hughes film of choice, and Prom Night. But anyway. People start getting sick, word gets out, and the armed forces crack down on the school and lock everyone inside, intending to kill them all by way of quarantine.

Along the way, we find out that the 'cure' for this disease is to cut off the infecting areas. But... um... if the disease is transmitted by water and thus injested, how is cutting off your hand because it was the first area to show the infection going to help? Seriously - how does that actually work?

We're not to know. Two kids escape, one of them handless, and he is taken down. The girl - bearing a remarkable resemblance to Carrie, convinces some people on the run out of the quarantine'd town to take her along. So, they're smart enough to get the hell out of this town, but not to veer away from a girl covered in blood who is possibly infected? Well done.

And finally, we have the closing credits - animated once again as they show us how the virus is spreading.

Overall, the movie was just weird. The plot made no sense, the characters made no sense, the blood was so-so... the only thing I really liked about it was the touch of 80s... At times, it really was impossible to tell that this movie was made within the last five years.

Of course, maybe that's not a compliment...

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 19

2011-10-09T13:09:00.000-06:00

19.

Angela let herself into her home and slowly walked down the hall to her room, oblivious to her surroundings. Crossing the floor to her bed, she sat down and stared into space, mind racing.

Even after seeing his wings with her own eyes, it still defied all logic. Angels were real? Now that everything had finally fallen into place, all of Tuyen’s eccentricities explained, Angela couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been.

What? A cynical voice in her mind broke through the confusion, you should have figured out he had a pair of wings?

No, Angela answered the voice wearily. But I shouldn’t have pushed so much…

She knew that no one could have guessed what Tuyen was, not without seeing it for themselves, but Angela couldn’t help but feel that she should have just accepted his avoidance of the budding relationship and moved on.

As if a floodgate in her mind had been opened, Angela suddenly began to realize the extent of just what she had gotten herself into. She’d fallen in love with an angel; a servant of God. She’d fallen for something that existed beyond any mortal realm.

Angela found herself wondering if she’d jeopardized Tuyen’s life by pushing for more than a friendship. Especially after he’d…

Angela’s face drained of blood. He called her a goddess. It had been a long time since she’d been to church, but Angela knew enough about the Christian religion to know that that such a thing had to be blasphemous. For both parties.

A flood of emotions already coursing through Angela’s system intensified, each vying for attention. There was still the flare of joy that Tuyen had returned her love for him, before it was driven back by the less comforting emotions of anger and shame.

She wasn’t even entirely sure why those emotions had arisen, especially the shame. The anger was easier to understand – irrational – but easier.

She was angry at herself for falling in love, despite the myriad of confusing signals Tuyen had given her. Angry for daring to think she could come up with an easy answer. Angry that he hadn’t told her sooner.

The shame though…that was harder to pinpoint. Shame for loving someone at the risk of her own soul? Angela had never been the most religious of people, but she had been raised a Catholic, and on some unconscious level she believed in it.

Sighing wearily, Angela lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, suddenly too tired to deal with her emotions. She stared listlessly at nothing before she rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball, wanting nothing more than to forget the whole fiasco; to forget about Tuyen.

But how could one ever forget an angel?

Closing her eyes, Angela sighed unhappily and tried to relax herself enough to sleep.

She didn’t even notice the tears that began to fall, continuing long after she’d fallen asleep.

The Beginning

Huh

2011-10-05T20:47:00.000-06:00

It's October already? How in the hell did that happen?

I... yeah. Life's been... interesting.

And once again, I am having to learn the value of patience.

But anyway. Seeing as this is one of my favourite months, and seeing as I have had plans since the start of the yeah, while remaining mindful of the fact that life continues to come and kick me in the shins...

I'm not going to make any promises, my darlings, but I am going to try and actually put some stuff up in the coming days.

Fingers crossed, right?

Straw Dogs

2011-09-21T20:23:00.000-06:00

Why did I see this movie?! I know the law of remakes, especially when it comes to horrors or thrillers. But nooo, I just had to give this one a shot.

To be fair, Boyfriend and I hadn't been on a date for weeks, it was the only thing out we were both interested in, and we'd seen a few interviews with the cast that made it look potentially promising. Or at least not-suck.

Obviously, we were wrong, but the sad thing is, I think this is one of the (VERY FEW - I'M LOOKING AT YOU ROB-ZOMBIE-DIE-IN-A-FIRE) cases where the movie would have done better to branch away from the original.

Based (somewhat loosely) on a book, the original Straw Dogs is a 1971 film that is set in rural Cornwall. David Sumner and his wife, Amy, move back to her hometown from the States so that David can work on his academic work away from the chaos of 1970s America. David is a modern man of the times - intellectual, quiet, soft-spoken - he is the antithesis of the rest of the men in the town, and the group he hires to do repairs on their middle-of-nowhere farmhouse clearly look down on him. Included in the group is Amy's old boyfriend, Charlie, and it soon becomes quite evident that he's still holding a torch for her.

Possibly in part due to the return to her old environment, though it's never truly stated, Amy wants David to be more like the men she grew up with. He's busy with his mathematics, but she wants him to fix the appliances and take part in the community with her. When she feels ignored, she passive-aggressively changes notes on his blackboard and undresses in front of an open window for the boys to see. When Charlie and his gang break into their house and strangle their cat, she tells David to go confront them, but when he is trying to instead go about it in a more peaceful way, she undermines him in front of the guys.

Now, before I go any further, I want to note here that, although what happens next is definitely exacerbated by Amy's actions, THIS IN NO WAY MAKES IT EXCUSABLE.

The guys invite David out hunting, and abandon him in the woods. While he waits for them to "flush the ducks his way", Charlie goes to his house and rapes Amy. Then one of his friends joins in. Yeeeah.

When David returns home, Amy is withdrawn and near tears, but won't tell him why. David fires the men, and later that week they go to a church function, which triggers Amy into a panic attack when she sees her friendly neighbourhood rapists. They leave the function early, and end up hitting the village idiot with their car. Taking him home with them, David phones the pub to inform them of the accident, and asks them to send a doctor. Earlier that night, however, the village idiot accidentally strangled a girl who had been flirting with him (and it was a genuine accident, it seems). Daddy - the village drunk - rallys a lynch mob, and off they go.

This is the climax of the film, and although it only runs for about fifteen minutes, it's quite compelling. With the mob at his door, and the local cop accidentally shot dead on the doorstep, David realises that these men will kill him and his wife if they get inside. Fighting is the only way he can get out of this, and so he does. He boils oil, sets up an antique man trap, grabs anything to hand and begins systematically killing everyone who gets inside. When Charlie and the other rapist get upstairs, David finds out from their conversation about what they did to Amy, and although Charlie kills his friend, he clearly has no intention of making nice with David. So David springs the man trap on his head. The end. (No, seriously, that's pretty much the end).

It's a powerful ending, and a powerful film. David is not a man set on blind revenge - he is a man forced to confront the fact that his ideals are not always going to work, and that he must change in order to defend his home. Classic fight-or-flight, brilliantly portrayed by Dustin Hoffman.

So let's have a look at the remake.

They move the story from 1970s Cornwall to modern day Mississippi, make David a screenwriter, and Amy an actress. Most of the plot's the same, but in a way, that's the problem. See, this is 2011 - some things just don't make sense anymore. Yes, that scene with David doing his evening jumprope exercises while Amy plays chess is cute, but there is no way a modern-day, Hollywood man would use a jumprope. He'd be on a cross-trainer or treadmill or something.

Instead of complaining about equal division of labour, the crux of the issues with Amy and David seems to be the way she dresses, and David's refusal to get into fights. There's a scene where Amy is out running and sweating in the heat, wearing only short shorts and a singlet. It is painfully obvious that she is not wearing a bra. She complains to David that the guys were oogling her. He looks up at her headlights on display and goes "Maybe you should wear a bra?" Amy takes immediate exception to this, goes upstairs, and takes off her shirt for the guys to see. (Again, this does NOT excuse the rape, but at the same time, she can't keep talking about how she knows this town and these men, only to do things like that).

The way she dresses continues to be at odds in the movie, moreso since she laughs at David's attempts to be liked by the town (not knowing how, he tries to throw his money around instead of blending in), but still dolls up like she's in Hollywood.

Also at odds is Charlie. For the first half of the movie, he seems to be a genuinely good guy trying to do the right thing. When David walks out of church, he cautions him that this is a very religious town and his actions are watched closely. When he hears about the cat, he displays a genuine surprise that indicates he wasn't involved. This makes the rape all the more surprising, because although the interest is still there, he no longer seems the type of guy who would do such a thing. And when the Sheriff is killed, despite the look on his face that says, "This is a bad situation," he still goes along with it. It doesn't fit.

The ultimate problem, though, is David. He's no longer a quiet man, who later proves to be capable of great things to protect his family. He's a weakling who wants to be liked. When Dustin Hoffman snaps, there was enough setup beforehand that makes it entirely plausable. When James Marsden snaps, all I could think was, "Where did that come from?"

This could have been a decent remake, or at least an okay one. They showed the beginnings of attempts to make it their own by moving location and date, but they needed to do more. Too much of it just didn't fit the times.

There's only two things I can really say in its favour. One is that we get to find out a little bit more about the village idiot. As we see him trying very hard to heed his anxious brother and the girl's violent father's warnings, while the girl literally throws herself at him (she's fifteen and tries to give him a blowjob. Poor guy looked terrified), it makes his tale that much more sympathetic and thus more interesting.
The other isn't necessarily an improvement, but it's very much an attempt. The rape scene in the original has been fraught with controversy since it came out - partly because it was cut or edited for many years, but also because Amy just seems to "lie there and take it" with Charlie (less so with the second friend). In the remake, Amy protests more with Charlie, and when he overpowers her, it's a lot more clear based on her expression/reactions that she's not so much submitting as she is trying to mentally check out of where and when she is right now. It's certainly the best performance of the actress in the entire film, and - at risk of repeating myself - it's nice to see that the film tried to make that blurred line a little more clear.

Overall, though, unless you have a passion for watching shirtless Erik-from-True Blood (I'm not going to bother spelling his name) get his rape on, avoid the remake. It only serves to prove my point about why this stupid trend of Hollywood's needs to end.

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 18

2011-09-11T11:45:00.000-06:00

18.

Exiting the restaurant, Angela stood outside in the cold, scanning the streets for Tuyen. Recognising a hunched figure about to turn a corner, she let out a yell and began to chase after him as he disappeared around the corner.

“Hey!” she yelled breathlessly, voice cracking slightly in the chill air. “Stop running away from me, damn it!”

Rounding the corner, Angela saw Tuyen standing at the end of the street beneath a streetlamp, facing her. Everything about his stance and air was guarded, as if he wanted to wait for her, but also wanted to run. Slowing to a pained walk, Angela closed the distance between them, limping slightly in her heels.

“What the hell is your problem?!” she yelled, taking grim pleasure in seeing Tuyen wince slightly before she continued. “I lay my heart out on the table for you, and all you can do is walk away from me? What do you mean this has nothing to do with your feelings? I’m not asking for how your boss feels about this, or if you have a brother who might be interested, I’m asking you! I love you, Tuyen!” Angela’s voice broke then, and she choked back a sob. “Do I really mean that little to you?”

“No, Ange, don’t,” Tuyen pleaded as Angela began to cry. He stepped forward and tried to pull her into a hug, but she pushed him off, turning her back to him.

“Angela, please,” he stood awkwardly behind her before reaching hesitantly for her shoulder. “You know you mean a lot to me but-”

“But what?” Angela slapped the hand away and turned back on Tuyen, the look in her eyes driving him back a step. “What, Tuyen? You only see me as a friend? You like me but you don’t want to be with me? If I mean so fucking much to you, then why are you being like this?”

Tuyen stood with his head down, unable to meet Angela’s eyes. Rubbing the back of his neck uneasily, he began to speak slowly, faltering.

“I do like you Angela. More than like. I…” he swallowed nervously before continuing. “I love you, Goddess… but…”

“But you can’t let me interfere with your work?” Angela shivered in the cold and hugged her arms, trying to stop the tears that continued to roll down her cheeks even as her heart wrenched at Tuyen’s admittance. “Is your work really that important to you? Couldn’t you try taking a break from it? Quitting it for a little while?”

“You want me to quit my job?” Tuyen repeated the words as if they were in another language, blank confusion written across his face.

“Why not? It’s like I told you in the restaurant, Tuyen; I could work for us, and we could maybe get a small place together, or something, and…” Angela trailed off as Tuyen began to shake his head unhappily.

“I can’t, Ange. I thought you knew that.” He barked a bitter laugh, still shaking his head. “You don’t think the thought never crossed my mind? I love you, Angela. But this isn’t about my feelings, as much as I would like them to be.”

“What else could it be about?” Angela grabbed Tuyen and forced him to look at her, nails digging into his forearms through the suit. “What hold does this God-damned job have on you that you can’t even kiss a girl without panicking?!”

“It’s not that simple, Angela.” Tuyen looked for a moment as if he was going to say something further, but seemed to change his mind. Angela’s grip tightened, and she tried weakly to shake him.

“Well explain it to me, then! Because clearly I’m missing something.”

Sighing, Tuyen gently disengaged Angela’s hold on his arms, before clasping her shoulders gently.

“You really want to know?” he asked softly, his eyes hidden behind a lock of his hair.

“Yes, Tuyen!” Angela fought back another sob, her upset adding a sarcastic edge to her voice. “I ‘really want to know’ why the most amazing man I’ve ever met is turning me down, because of his job.”

Tuyen’s hands caressed Angela’s arms for a brief moment, before he gently released her and stepped back, head bowed.

“I’m sorry I never told you this before,” he murmured, not looking at her.

“Told me what?” Angela tried to catch his eye, before reaching out to touch his shoulder. “Told me what, Tuyen?” she repeated softly, suddenly – inexplicably – nervous. Avoiding her touch, Tuyen bit his lip and closed his eyes.

“Wait here,” he said softly, before stepping back until he was out of the circle of light that the streetlamp cast. Angela waited, alone in the light; curiosity and fear mingling in her gut as she tried to make out Tuyen’s form in the darkness.

She heard a faint rustling sound; a sound that reminded Angela of a score of things, but at the same time couldn’t place. The kind of noise one recalls from a misplaced childhood memory. After what seemed like forever, she heard his voice come out from the darkness.

“I’m so sorry,” Tuyen whispered, before stepping back into view.

A small noise escaped Angela’s throat as she stared at the creature in front of her, unable to comprehend it, but at last understanding so much.

Tuyen stood before her, naked from the waist up and shadowed by a huge pair of ivory colored wings that towered over his body. Even folded, they peaked about four feet above his shoulders, the tips tightly folded across each other so they didn’t drag on the ground. A soft, golden tinge edged the feathers, each a perfect replica of the one Angela wore about her neck.

“Angel?” Angela managed to choke out. “You’re an angel?!”

“I wanted to tell you, Angela. I’ve wanted to for so long,” Tuyen’s eyes glistened with tears as he looked at her entreatingly. “I’ve met so many people during my time, but none were like you. None before you have made me wish for something other than the life I had. None before you have made me even consider looking beyond the dogma I have been bound to follow,” his voice cracked, a single tear escaping the well building in his eyes as he tried to smile.

“But then I met you, Angela. I met you, and I loved you from that first moment on the bridge. And…I feared you.” Tuyen laughed weakly and shook his head. “I don’t even know what They could do to me for standing before you like this, but I can’t stand lying to you anymore. All this time… I couldn’t stand not being able to tell you the truth.”

Taking a hesitant step forward, Tuyen moved closer to Angela, his wings flexing until they were wrapped protectively around them both, intimately close but no part of either’s body touching the other.

“Do you see now, why my feelings have nothing to do with this?” he continued softly. “Even if I gave up my wings for you, you would grow to resent me, because I would never age. While you grew older, I would remain the same, as I have for countless years. No matter what decision I make now, I will have to watch you die, and I could not face a physical life on this world once that happened.”

More of his tears were falling now, the light casting a shadow over the angel’s bowed head. Angela felt numb as she listened to his voice, trying to make sense from the words that echoed in her head.

(Angel?!)

“I’m so sorry, my Goddess,” Tuyen repeated quietly, as he reached forward and gently traced the side of Angela’s face. As if awakening from a spell, Angela stiffened at the touch, before pulling back and bumping into the wings that were wrapped around her.

“I don’t…I need to…I think I need some time to…” she stammered incoherently, her body beginning to tremble violently as she tried to think.

Tuyen watched her silently for a moment, before he pulled back his wings. Stepping away from the angel, Angela looked at him as he stood; wings half-folded beneath a halo of light, glowing softly as if he were playing the spiritual hero from a children’s story.

Angela tried to think of something to say, but all words failed her. Still shaking slightly, she turned her back on the angel and began to walk slowly home.

Tuyen watched her go, before he spread his wings to full span and, with a powerful downbeat, leapt into the air. He flew silently over the city, circling higher until he came to a deserted cliff edge, unreachable to any but himself. There, he landed, seating himself on the edge and looking down at the electric lights of human technology flickering beneath him – the beacons of another world.

Wings wrapped around his body, he watched the world below and felt the ache of pain and sorrow that had encased his heart, chilling him like no wind or snow ever could.

With a low keen of despair, the angel closed his eyes and began to weep.

The Beginning

Jottify.com

2011-09-07T19:28:00.000-06:00

I've registered at Jottify.com and will be looking to put up some of my work there.

You've probably seen it all before, anyway, but check it out sometime. Who knows what it will yield...

Slump

2011-08-31T09:05:00.000-06:00

You know, I really feel like I owe you guys - what few of you are out there - an apology. I have not been a very interesting person of late. Well, that's not entirely true. A number of highly interesting things have happened to me. The problem is, my darlings, that I have hit a slump.

This is due, in no small part, to the fact that I have close to no time anymore. I work four days a week, train five days a week, try to spend time with Boyfriend on the weekends, am working on starting my writing career...

It's all I can do to get an hour's writing in on the stuff I'm trying to get published, let alone sit down and write on my blog. And that's a real shame, because right now I have files of stuff I'd like to post here if I can get the time. I have movies I want to ramble about, plans for the future... so many things.

I shouldn't complain - I don't need a job, but I'm really helping out my coworkers here, and the added income is helping to pay for Boyfriend and I to visit my family at Christmas, but still. Time is a valuable thing, and I am definitely feeling a lack.

Of course, when I had time, I had nothing interesting to say, so... who knows. I guess it's just a matter of finding that balance.

Or maybe I should just make my posts shorter and more random, just to tell you about things like the shirtless dude carrying a pizza who begged me to say his name. Yeaaaaah, what was up with that, Carl?

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 17

2011-08-28T12:21:00.000-06:00

17.

The restaurant was packed, the hum of couples talking softly to each other blending into the background with the music that was playing. Tuyen admired the décor before turning back to Angela with a smile.

“This place seems popular,” he noted with a small grin. “How’d you get a table?”

“Um, luck?” Angela shrugged and played nervously her water glass. The truth was that Angela had made the booking months ago, quietly hoping that the right excuse to extend the invitation would arise.

If luck had brought her anything, Angela supposed it had brought her the right excuse. She caught Tuyen’s eye for a moment, before she let it drop again, struggling to find the right words.

“You look good in a suit,” she eventually commented, trying to control the blush that crept up her neck. Tuyen coughed nervously and smiled, beginning to blush a little himself.

“You look beautiful, Goddess. That dress looks fantastic on you.”

Glancing down at the outfit she wore – a simple, figure hugging black dress, Angela’s face broke into an embarrassed smile.

“Thanks,” she looked back up at him, and forgot what she was going to say as their eyes locked. They held the gaze for what felt like both an eternity and a second, before they were interrupted as the waiter came to take their order.

Caught off guard, Angela fumbled for the menu and tried to focus on it, before she gave up and simply ordered the special. Tuyen smiled gently and ordered the same, both of them oblivious to the cynical expression the waiter fixed on them.

After he left, they lapsed once more into an uncomfortable silence, Angela’s eyes focused on a spot on the tablecloth as she fidgeted with her napkin.

Tuyen watched her for a while, his brow furrowed in thought. Eventually he cleared his throat, catching Angela’s attention.

“You said you had something to talk to me about?” he prompted. Angela nodded and swallowed as she tried to clear her throat.

“I have to be honest with you; I really don’t know how to say this,” she stammered nervously.

Tuyen smiled gently and waited for her to collect herself, unconsciously chewing his bottom lip. After a few moments, Angela looked up at him and tried again.

“I…I like you, Tuyen. You’ve been a wonderful friend since I met you that night, and you’ve done so much for me, put up with so much… I honestly don’t know how to thank you.” Smiling nervously, Angela held his gaze for a moment before she dropped her head again and continued to speak.

“The thing is, I don’t want you to just be another guy in my life. I know we agreed to just stay friends…I know you have…concerns because of your job but…I want more, Tuyen. I… I think I love you.”

Swallowing, Angela bit her lip and stole a glance at Tuyen, trying to read the closed expression on his face. When he didn’t answer, she started talking again in a rush, stumbling over her words.

“I’d understand if you weren’t interested in me at all, but I think you are. You wouldn’t have put up with so much from me if you weren’t even a little interested. I mean, if being my friend makes you so nervous about being caught or whatever, you must have a reason for continuing to hang around. But I don’t understand why you won’t let us be more than friends, just because of a job. If you feel the same for me, what’s stopping you from just quitting and getting another job?” Angela took a steadying breath.

“I graduate next month, Tuyen. And with this internship, I’ll be earning more than most graduates. I think that, if we kept to a budget, I’d be able to earn enough for both of us until you found something…” trailing off, Angela watched Tuyen and waited for him to respond.

He’d barely moved throughout the entire speech and sat now with his chin resting on his knuckles, his eyes downcast and completely unreadable.

“Please say something?” Angela whispered softly, causing Tuyen to finally rouse himself from his thoughts with a sigh.

“I don’t know what you want me to say here Angela,” he spoke softly, refusing to meet her eye. “I don’t think there’s anything I can say without hurting you.”

“Well...you could start by telling me whether or not you like the idea…” Angela swallowed and looked down at her hands. “Whether you even wanted to try or…or if I was just imagining things…”

“This has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel, Ange, you have to understand that.”

Finally, Tuyen looked up at her and held her gaze for a moment with sad eyes before dropping it with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry, Goddess,” he murmured. “I think…maybe it’s best if I just go.”

Stunned, Angela watched in disbelief as Tuyen got up from the table and walked out of the restaurant, his figure oddly diminished.

She sat at the table in shock for a moment, mind blankly trying to make sense of the situation. What did I just do?

Forget what you did, a voice inside her cried angrily. Why are you still here? You’re just going to let him walk out of your life again? Just lie down and take it?!

“Like hell,” Angela muttered to herself, rising from her chair and all but running out of the restaurant after Tuyen.

The Beginning

Dear work

2011-08-22T20:19:00.001-06:00

Dear Work.

Pull your fucking act together.

Sincerely,
Priscilla

Final Destination

2011-08-18T07:55:00.000-06:00

In case you haven't figured this out about me (what are you, new?), I don't hold back from spoilers when discussing horror movies. Consider this a disclaimer...

This is an interesting franchise. I mean, it's one of the only ones of the most recent decade that just kills people for the fun of it, like the horror films of the 80s. None of this torture porn, grand and complicated designs, or shaky-cam. The entire premise of every single one of these movies is: People Cheat Death. Death Gets Pissed. People Die.

I kind of love it. I mean, the first movie was just plain good. Heavy-handed as fuck (LOOK AT THE SYMBOLISM. DO YOU SEE IT? HOW ABOUT NOW?!), but at the time it was a really good premise. It was a year before 9/11, so plane explosions weren't taboo, and it's kind of nice to look back at the movie now and recall the days when such a premise was an option. I particularly loved how - despite the deaths all happening without his help - the main kid was beginning to look like a killer because he kept showing up at the scene of the crime.

The second movie? Not as good, but the premonition scene at the beginning was amazing. Plus, to twist it up, Death worked backwards this time, killing the last people to die in the premonition first. Considering the first victims were all of the main girl's friends, that was a pretty decent shock.

The third movie was forgettable. As was becoming a trend, the premonition scene was cool, but they started stretching the bounds of reality with both the deaths and the predictions. Plus, Tony Todd (aka the Candyman, aka the Expositor of these movies, aka - in my opinion - Death's avatar) only had an uncredited cameo as a theme park ride voice-over/train operator, so we were beginning to lose that connectivity to the first two films. On top of that, there was an option on the DVD I got where you could mess with the deaths slightly (make it worse for one or another, more bloody, that kind of thing). With my fiddling, I ended up changing the ending, and I have to admit I kind of preferred the - non-canon - result.

The fourth movie came out in 2009, right on the cusp of 3D technology's return. It was before Avatar and How to Train Your Dragon made people realise what you could do with the technology, and was just hopping on the horror bandwagon (funny how this genre always seems to be the first to embrace 3D whenever it's re-introduced). Simply titled The Final Destination (because all of the other movies at the time were replacing the number 4, 5, 6, 74 with 'The'), this movie started with a racetrack accident. All of my biggest peeves with the franchise are with this movie. Tony Todd wasn't involved, the 3D and CGI was terrible, and the movie was so obsessed with being meta and faking us out that it was painful. Plus, there was no character development. This had started to happen since the second installment, but at least by virtue of surroundings we had an idea of the main group's characterisation (be it university students going on spring break, high school students about to graduate, whatever). This one... the main kids we dealt with could have been anything from 18-28, I had no idea if they were close or just acquaintances, and I just didn't care.
But I guess there were some lulzy deaths.

So. Along comes the fifth installment. I'm initially reserved, but once I find out that Tony Todd is back and it has Miles Fisher (my TV boyfriend #180 <- see what I did thar?) in a starring role, I was hooked.

We started with some nice opening credits. Where 4 showed us the deaths of the past movies in an x-ray sort of way, this time we had implements of past destruction flying at our heads in slow-motion. They would always hit a pane of glass when they slowed, in an obvious nod to the original Friday the 13th movies. That, and the CGI is already miles better.
On top of that, we get the 10-15 minutes of character exposition that had been lacking from previous installments, and a general feeling that is both reminiscent of the first movie, and at the same time self-aware and parodying without trying too hard. This time, it's a bridge collapse, and in an interesting turn of events, the main guy's girlfriend survives the premonition. He comes to, gets 8 people off the bus, and shit goes down.
At the funeral, Tony Todd shows up, being Tony Todd, and tells them "Death doesn't like to be cheated."
Shortly thereafter, Miles Fisher's girlfriend is the first to go. Now this is a clever death, I have to say. It's like the movie is both poking fun at how ridiculous the previous movies were getting, while at the same time working nicely to build the tension. The girl's a gymnast. While we're watching her practice, we see: a screw loosen on the bars, an electric fan with a bad cord be placed near dripping water, a screw fall from the overhead fan and land on the balance beam... It just spells disaster when the girl hops up on the beam and starts dancing around the screw.
But nothing happens. So she moves onto the bars, and just when you think that is going to happen, some other gymnast stands on the screw, yelps, falls into the fan and knocks it into the chalk, which blinds Miles' girlfriend, who misses her dismount and slams neck-first into the ground. It's startling, gruesome, and wonderful. Miles Fishers' face: o.o
Next to die is a jackass, and I take no small amount of glee in his demise. After that, it's a girl getting eye surgery (avoid if you have eye squicks), and Tony Todd shows up again to repeat his words, and also strongly implies that you can cheat this game if you kill someone in your place, thus getting their "lost" years.
This theory is proved when the sole black kid of the group accidentally throws his racist co-worker in path's danger, and Death skips him to move onto the next victim.
We are now down to main guy, main guy's girlfriend, and Miles Fisher. Except that main guy's girlfriend never died...
This is the part when Miles goes off the deep end, and I love it. He spends an entire night trying to work up the courage to push someone in front of a bus or whatever, but can't do it. As he tells his friends hollowly: Why do they deserve to die? Why do I? But then, why do you deserve to live?
Focusing on main guy's girlfriend, he proceeds to try and kill her. A fight breaks out, and a cop gets in the way and is killed by Miles. He doesn't stop, though, because now the girl's a witness. Main guy kills Miles (nuuuuu!), thus taking from him the life he stole from the cop.
Movie's over, right?
Except that I've kind of noticed in the movie that everyone has really old phones. And main guy and his girlfriend are going to France. And when they're boarding the plane, we get to see a very fucking familiar scene as a group of teenagers are pulled off the plane. One of them freaked out, don't you know. Said the plane was going to explode. As main guy looks at his ticket, we finally see that it is 2000, and this is Flight 180. The flight from FD1. Plane explodes.
Elsewhere, black kid finds out that the guy who died in his place had a brain aneurism and was a time bomb of Death. Piece of plane lands on him.
Tony Todd: :D lolololol

Me: :D <3

I loved that. I loved how it came full circle, tied things up nicely, and generally went about making up for the since of the past. It was clever, and I'd thought these movies had run out of clever a ways back.

Of course, now they'll probably make more sequels, but until that happens I'm going to bask in my happy glow of a horror movie well enjoyed.

Yeeeeah...

2011-08-13T12:58:00.000-06:00

I set out on Thursday to do two things: To complete this review, and to get drunk. I did not succeed at either, so... have this, for now. We'll see if I finish it later...

I know, my darlings, I know. I’ve been terrible at this whole “post and be entertaining” thing of late. I have no excuse other than the fact that I’ve been very boring, a little bit sick, and a lot tired.

To illustrate just how tired, tonight after work, instead of prepping to go to training like I normally would, I crawled in and poured myself a drink. I’m onto my fourth, no, and am still depressingly sober.

This sounds like a perfect time to watch the original (and when I say original, I mean ADAM FUCKING WEST ZAP BOOF POW) Batman movie.

Hoo boy. Let’s see how this goes…

And… we start with an acknowledgement. We wish to express our gratitude to the enemies of crime and crusaders against crime throughout the world for their inspirational example.
Right. Well, then. Begin!

Already I’m giggling, because… oh good lord the colours. ALL THE COLOURS. BATMAN HAS BLUE! ROBIN HAS YELLOW! THEY HAVE ACTUALLY COLOUR-CORDINATED THE OPENING CREDITS.

Aaaaaand drink.

(NANANANANANANANA)

Oh wow, we have Voice-Over Man. “Millionaire Bruce Wayne, and his young ward, Dick Grayson…(12 years- oh wait).”

I have to say, the markings on Batman’s cowl is really… offsetting.

Right. Plot. So there’s a boat with something, and Batman and Robin have to go save it, so they get in the Batmobile and… call ahead for someone to get the Bat-copter ready?

I’m sorry, what? Batman had a team of people who had access to his equipment? Isn’t that… dangerous?

Let’s pause to let all the models scream and wave, and the soldiers salute. “Gives one a good feeling to know they’re up there doing their job!”

… The Bat Ladder actually has a sign on it that reads “Bat Ladder”. Y’know, in case you mixed it up with an ordinary helicopter ladder or something…

Robin: Watch out, Batman! This could get hairy!

Batman: I’m no girl, Robin. I’ll keep my wits about me.”

… You know what? I’m not even gonna touch that one. I’m just gonna keep drinking.

Meanwhile, Robin can’t fly a copter. He sinks Batman into the water, and moments later he has a rubber shark mauling him. A rubber shark that has been visible to the ladder while someone off-screen shakes it.

Quick, Robin! The Shark-repellant Bat-Spray! Which makes rubber sharks blow up!

And next thing you know, we’re back at the office, with no resolution on why they flew out to the yacht in the first place.

Apparently this Batman speaks in riddles.

“Batman, I’ve heard that a yacht simply disappeared!” Oh. That’s what happened?

“Nonsense. How could a yacht simply disappear?”

“Then you’re saying it’s not true?”

“I stand by what I said.”

A Russian woman dressed in leopard print? Gee, do you think she’s… CATWOMAN?! *gasp* Who tries in the most unsubtle way to have them unmask. While all of the reporters laugh/act shocked. Reveal their identities?!
“It must be a trap! Let us look up the current list of super-villains at large!” AKA – time to introduce everyone.

Penguin, Joker, Riddler, Catwoman… They try to figure out who it could be… water means Penguin! But it was on the Sea/C which means Catwoman! But an exploding shark was pulling Batman’s leg…

Yeah. It’s totally a team effort.

TO THE BATCAVE, BOY WONDER.

While that happens, we cut to the rogues. The boys are fighting, so Catwoman throws (THROWS) her pet cat at them.

Pet Cat: THE FUCK?!

Side note – the guy playing the Joker wouldn’t even shave his moustache for this role. It’s… really distracting.

And the kidnapped/disappeared/whatever yacht doesn’t even realise it’s been kidnapped/disappeared/whatever.

And I know this sounds rambled and insane and is making no sense. If you thought I was drunk, my darlings, I wouldn’t blame you. Sadly, though, this is just the movie…

“Holy Moly Magician!” Oh great, we’re back to you guys.

EVERYTHING is labeled in the Bat Cave. EEEEEEEEEVERYTHING. Magnifying Lens. Film Developing Tank (super fine Batgrain). Navigational Computer.

They decide the ship was a mirage? And go to the Bat Boat! (Why they didn’t choose this over a copter, I have no idea). More distressingly, though, is the fact that they just LEAVE THEIR SHIT IN PUBLIC. Seriously, what’s to stop anyone from sabotaging/stealing it?!

THERE MAY BE SKULLDUGGERY AHEAD! PENGUIN SAID SO! AVAST, AND YO-HO!

(Who wrote this script?! Alan Smithee?)

So while Batman and Robin are trying to get fingerprints off a buoy, the rogues are spying with the most obvious periscope ever. And then they turn the buoy into a magnet, which – because of Batman and Robin’s utility belts – renders them HELPLESS. Nevermind, oh, you know, unhooking said belt...

While Robin screams like a girl, Batman REVERSES THE POLARITY to stop some oncoming torpedoes. He gets rid of the first two, but before he can stop the third, the batteries die on his... I don’t know what it was...

The torpedo explodes! Batman and Robin are no longer there! But the buoy is... and apparently Batman and Robin were saved by...

A noble porpoise. You heard me.

So they get to land and call some Admiral. “Say, did you sell any discomissioned war ships?”

“Why yes, yes I did. To a Mister P. Enguin!”

...Seriously?

So a rocket goes up from the water and leaves a riddle in the sky. What does a turkey do when he flies upside down (“Gobbles up”), and I missed the second part... but the answer was “A sparrow with a machine gun.”

My brain hurts. I’m putting this down for tonight.

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 16

2011-08-07T12:33:00.000-06:00

16.

Two months later, Tuyen stood on the bridge, waiting for Angela; resting against the railing with his eyes closed as he turned his face to the sun, enjoying its warmth.

The sound of footsteps pulled him out of his thoughts, and he opened his eyes to see Angela running towards him, a wide grin on her face.

His face broke into a matching smile as Angela reached the bridge and flung herself into his arms happily. Laughing, he lifted her up and hugged her tightly, before placing her back on the ground and stepping back to look at her properly.

“Good news?” he asked the smiling figure. Angela nodded, trying to catch her breath as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a letter. She handed it to Tuyen and waited impatiently for him to read it. His brow furrowed slightly as he scanned the words before the grin returned and he looked up at her.

“You got the internship,” he said. Angela grinned and nodded, before her smile faltered slightly.

“Well, they want to meet me first, so I probably shouldn’t make assumptions…but part of the meeting is to go over their contract.”

“This is fantastic, Goddess! I told you you’d do it!” Tuyen exclaimed.

“I can’t believe I got accepted,” she began to babble excitedly. “This is everything I wanted, Tuyen. Everything I hoped to get when I graduate. I actually have a career waiting for me now. I…I did it!” tears glistened in her eyes as she looked up at Tuyen happily.

Bursting once more into happy laughter, Tuyen embraced Angela tightly.

“I told you so, Goddess,” he whispered into her ear. They stood like that for a long moment, but this time it was Angela who pulled back from the embrace. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she blushed slightly before smiling nervously.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight and celebrate with me? I made a reservation at this restaurant, and I’d love for you to come.”

“Celebrating with your friends tonight?” Tuyen asked. Angela’s blush deepened, and she dropped her eyes down to her hands.

“Actually, I was thinking just the two of us.”

The grin on Tuyen’s face faded slowly, until he stood before Angela uneasily. It was easy to tell from Angela’s demeanor that the restaurant she spoke of was not one that catered to the more platonic of relationships.

“Ange, I…I’d love to but…I just don’t know if I can…”

“Please?” Angela pleaded. “I don’t really have anyone else I want to celebrate this with and…I wanted to talk to you about something…”

Frowning slightly in curiosity, Tuyen opened his mouth to answer before he’d even found the words he wanted to use. He tried to focus on Angela, on her eyes, but – almost in a twisted reversal of fate – this only made it harder to speak.

Watching him as he stood there in silence, Angela drooped as she assumed his answer.

“Sorry,” she murmured softly. “Forget it, I’ll…find someone or…something.”

Ducking her head, she pushed past him and began to head home.

For a moment, Tuyen could only stand where he was, watching Angela leave as his mind fought over various decisions. Casting his gaze upwards, Tuyen clenched his jaw and swallowed a groan before he turned to follow Angela.

“Ange! Wait!” Tuyen ran to catch up and caught Angela by the arm. “Don’t go like this,” he begged. “I’ll come to dinner –” he was cut off as Angela shook her head.

“I don’t want you to come if you don’t want to, Tuyen,” she interrupted.

“Will you let me finish?” he sighed and let go of her arm. Pacing in front of her, Tuyen grabbed his hair and tugged on it with a frustrated growl, before he stopped and turned back to face her.

“I’d love to come, Goddess,” he looked at her earnestly. “Really, I would. I just don’t know if I can because of work but…” he sighed heavily and shook his head. “Screw it. I’ll come.”

Angela watched him and chewed her lip as she studied his expression.

“Seriously?” she asked. Tuyen nodded and took her hands.

“I’d love to come,” he repeated softly, holding her hands close to his chest. Angela studied him quietly for a moment, before she nodded hesitantly and began to smile again.

“T-Thank you,” she stammered. “The reservation’s for seven. It’s…kinda formal so…”

“I’ll dress accordingly,” Tuyen smiled gently. Kissing her hands, he released them and stepped aside for Angela, before handing her back her acceptance letter. Blushing, she took it from him and smiled nervously.

“Guess I’ll see you later then.” Tuyen nodded and bowed his head. “I’ll pick you up at six-thirty, Goddess.”

Waving hesitantly, Angela turned and began to walk home, resisting the urge to break into a nervous run. They both knew this was more than a friendly meeting; there was no point in even trying to his this fact. Despite this – or perhaps because of it – Angela wondered if she was making the right move.

Tuyen watched the woman he called Goddess leave, like he had many times before. Sighing, he turned his face back to the sky, but clouds had moved in, and he could feel no heat from the sun any longer.

The Beginning

Dance

2011-08-04T16:56:00.001-06:00

I've been watching So You Think You Can Dance this season, my darlings, and I do have to say I'm very impressed.

To post all of the performances that I like would take forever, and likely kill both computer and internet connection, but I have to at least post the two I just saw from last week that caught my attention, because wow.

The first video doesn't showcase contestants, but it's a fantastic performance, and the girl in the second video is one of my favourites for the finale...

Edit: Wow. Just - wow.

Give Batgirl The Chair by Eric Glover

2011-08-01T12:02:00.000-06:00

A very interesting argument has been put forth here regarding yet another round of changes about to befall DC comics.

Even if you're not that big a fan of the genre, my darlings, I suggest you have a look at it, because the subject matter is notable.

Portland!

2011-07-28T13:00:00.000-06:00

So my Antipodean friend (read: lives in Australia but is a Kiwi) Rico came to America to go to Comic-Con.

Me: Aww, wish I could go.
Rico: Yeah... I'm going to be in Portland for a few days after, though!
Me: That's onle a seven hour drive! I can totally make that if I take a day off work!

So I did.

After work yesterday, I kissed Boyfriend farewell, got into Goliath, and drove all the way to Portland. Was only a lot tired when I arrived - it's the longest I've driven straight without any company - but felt pretty good. At 6am I promptly got up and went to Tai Chi at the local Kung Fu club to meet and greet.

Then when I got back, Rico and I went to get some milk and bowls for the cereal she had. We got dixie cups instead of bowls, because of logistics and such, but the one thing we blanked on buying was spoons.

Yeah, there were none in our hotel room. Cue drinking cereal and trying to use swizzel sticks to shovel the stuff that clumped into our mouths.

Truly, we are the most responsible of adults...

AND NOW I GO TO HAVE FUN!

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 15

2011-07-24T14:42:00.001-06:00

15.

“Angela?” Tuyen stood self-consciously in the hallway, the front door still open behind him. He knew Angela was expecting him – they’d arranged to meet that day a fortnight ago – but the unlocked door that wasn’t properly shut on his arrival, and the seeming lack of people in the house was disturbing to Tuyen.

He knew not all of the people sharing this house were careful with closing doors properly, but Angela often made sure they were shut when she was around. Something didn’t seem right. Hesitantly, he took another step into the house.

“Goddess?” he called softly. A groan of response came from the living room. Frowning in concern, Tuyen gently closed the door behind him and ventured into the living room.

Angela was lying on the floor, her body propped against the couch as she rested her head on the seat. She lifted it as she heard the footsteps and tried to smile at Tuyen as he entered the room, the weak attempt fading after only a second.

“I think ‘m sick,” she said, her voice shaking slightly along with the rest of her. Making a noise of worry as he took off his jacket, Tuyen moved to Angela’s side and wrapped it around her.

“What are you doing up?” he asked as he helped her up and began guiding her back to her room, practically carrying her. “You should be in bed, resting.” Angela shook her head in weak protest as she stumbled along next to Tuyen.

“Too much to do,” she mumbled. “Have work, and study, and class, and…was gonna…you…” she struggled to remember what they’d agreed to do that day. “Something,” she finished lamely as they entered her room.

Tuyen just shook his head as he guided Angela to her bed, helping her lay down before kneeling to get a better look at her state.

“It’s not a problem Ange. I keep telling you, you need to take care of yourself instead of running yourself into the ground all the time.” He sighed softly and shook his head again. “I told you something like this would happen if you weren’t careful.”

“Didn’t want to stand you up,” Angela responded after a pause. Tsking gently, Tuyen reached forward and placed his wrist on her forehead to feel her temperature. A soft smile crept onto his face as he watched Angela’s eyes close with relief at the cool touch, before it disappeared quickly at the heat he felt.

“Geez girl, you’re burning up,” Tuyen murmured softly with concern. “We need to get you looked at.”

“’m fine,” Angela shook her head and got up. She stood for a moment, swaying slightly, before she gave up and sat back down on the bed. “Kinda,” she added weakly.

Moving about her room, Tuyen dug around in Angela’s closet until he found a warm jacket for her to wear, his eyes catching some of the gifts he had given her and bringing another smile to his face.

Returning to Angela’s side, Tuyen helped her put the jacket on before he stood up and looked her over again. It was clear that Angela was in no state to walk to the clinic, even though Tuyen knew there was one close by. Wondering how he was going to get her to the doctor in her current state, Tuyen’s eye caught the set of keys sitting on Angela’s beside table.

“You have a car, right?” he asked. Angela nodded, gesturing vaguely in the direction of her window where her car could be seen.

Picking up the keys, Tuyen put them in his pocket and returned to the bed. With an almost effortless movement, he placed his arms around Angela’s back and beneath her legs, and gently lifted her up. Clutching at his neck, she looked at him in dazed surprise.

“What’re you doin’?” she asked, a slightly green tinge colouring her face at the sudden change of her position in gravity.

“What I am doing,” Tuyen patiently said as he began to carry her out of her room, “is taking you to the doctor, Goddess.”

“Not a goddess,” Angela sighed and rested her head on Tuyen’s shoulder. “Goddesses don’t get sick.”

“They do in human form,” Tuyen said softly as he carried her out of the house.

A few hours later, Angela was back in her room, tucked into bed with a small pharmaceutical sitting on the dresser next to her, and a guilty look on her still pale face.

“Sorry,” she mumbled to Tuyen as he returned from the kitchen with a bowl and a damp face cloth, his shirt off and slung over his shoulder. He smiled at Angela as he placed the bowl within reach and sat on the bed next to her.

“It’s fine,” he reassured her as he folded the cloth and placed it on her forehead, “it’ll wash out easily. Just try and reach the bowl next time, okay?”

Angela smiled weakly. “You don’t have to stay you know.”

“I know I don’t,” Tuyen said gently and rested his hand against her cheek, “but if I don’t make sure you eat and take your medication, who will?”

“I can,” Angela’s response brought a chuckle from her friend.

“You can, but you won’t. If I know you, you’ll be up again before you’re better, and only make things worse for yourself.” He looked at her seriously for a moment. “Honestly, Ange, you really need to take a break and look after yourself. I keep telling you; since I’ve met you, you’ve been taking on more and more work for yourself. You work whenever you’re not studying, and the only time you’re not doing either is when you’re between semesters and your work won’t give you more hours. Why don’t you slow down once in a while?”

Resting against her pillow, Angela sighed and closed her eyes.

“I need the work so I can afford to study without getting too much in debt. And I study because if I want to get a good job and keep my scholarship I need the grades to go with the degree.” Opening her eyes, she looked wearily at Tuyen. “If I can just get a decent, well paid job, it’ll all be worth it. I know my grades can’t guarantee it, but…it’s all I’ve got going for me.”

“Why is a high paid job so important to you?” Tuyen asked. Angela sighed again and shrugged.

“I just want a little security. My parents were always between jobs when I was a kid and I hated having no power for days at a time when they couldn’t make the bill. And when they died, the only money I did see was barely enough to pay off their debts and finish my last semester of high school. I managed to score the scholarship to study here, but I’ve got little to no savings. I need to be able to get a job almost as soon as I graduate, or I’ll spend the first few years chasing myself to catch up.”

“Doesn’t your degree offer internships or something with organizations in your last year?”

Angela pulled a face at the question.

“Yeah, they have a graduate system. They only take in about half of the class though, and those are for admin jobs. There’s one company that offers what is essentially the start of your career but they only take about ten or so people. I’ve applied, but the chances…” Angela sighed and shook her head, “God, I need that job.”

Smiling softly, Tuyen leaned in and kissed Angela gently on the forehead.

“Have some faith in yourself Goddess. I’ve seen your grades.”

“It’s not just the grades. They get hundreds of applications every year. I sent mine in as soon as they were taking submissions for my year, but that doesn’t mean they’ve looked at it yet. Hell, maybe I’ve jinxed myself and it’s just sitting at the bottom of a growing pile. If anything, I need to pray that they actually pick up and read my application,” Angela’s frown deepened. “It’s like a damned lottery.”

Tuyen chuckled and shook his head, surveying Angela’s prone figure with a lopsided smile.

“Well you’re not going to do yourself any good worrying about it. Just relax a bit, Ange. You’re out for the rest of this week at least, and I’ve got the doctor’s certificate to prove it. So, you may as well make use of the time, and give yourself a break.”

Sighing, Angela lay back against her pillow and managed a weak grin.

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”

“Not a chance.” Tuyen grinned widely. “I’ll tie you to the bed if I have to.”

“What about your work? You can’t hang around here all the time.”

“Maybe not, but I’m going to look after you while I can. Those drugs working yet?”

Giving up her protests, Angela shrugged limply. “Maybe?”

“Well, you just lie there and let them do their thing, okay?”

Angela sighed softly and settled back in bed, eyes following Tuyen as he began to pick up after himself in her room.

His dark hair fell down over his eyes as he bent down to retrieve the jacket, allowing Angela to appreciate the toning of his upper body as she watched him move. She was surprised at the level of muscle toning he actually had: while Tuyen didn’t exactly look scrawny, the shirt and jacket she often saw him wearing hid a lot of his body’s detail.

His now-stained shirt hung down over one side of his back, but on the other side Angela noticed a long scar that ran down his shoulder blade. Frowning in confusion, she opened her mouth to ask about it before he stiffened slightly.

Almost as if he’d heard her thoughts and didn’t want to answer the pending question, Tuyen stood and turned back to her with a disarming grin.

“Food?” he asked as he pulled the shirt from his shoulder and shrugged his jacket on. Caught off guard by the question, Angela managed to stutter a few times before shrugging her shoulders and half nodding. Smiling in satisfaction, Tuyen left the room.

Shaking her head in bemused wonder, Angela rested her head against the pillow and closed her eyes, her mind wandering over the mental image of Tuyen as she felt the drugs taking their effect on her. He really is too good to me…

When Tuyen walked back into the room a few moments later with a tray of food, Angela was sound asleep. He gazed at her for a moment, before placing the tray on the table next to her bed.

Moving to her desk to sit down, he noticed the pile of textbooks and papers that covered the table’s surface. Shaking his head in vague amusement, Tuyen spotted a small stack of fliers that advertised internships for various companies.

Glancing back – almost guiltily – at Angela’s sleeping form, he picked them up and began to read through them. Finding the one he wanted, Tuyen searched the mess for a pen, before picking one out of his jacket pocket and making a note on a scrap of paper he salvaged from the pile on the desk.

Pocketing the note, Tuyen picked up a text book from the top of the stack and began to page through it as he waited for Angela to wake up.

The Beginning

Bark, Gygax, & Cass

2011-07-20T22:50:00.002-06:00

“Never lose your head,” her father liked to tell her. “No matter what happens. Even in the midst of battle, never forget that you should always have a spell – or a sword – at hand.”

“Just remember to breathe,” was another of his favorites. If only they’d come in handy this time.

Cass didn’t even remember what happened. They were settling down to camp for the night, when suddenly there was the sound of yelling and crashing through the brush. Father and Uncle had both leapt to their feet, but something had struck her in the head before she could follow suit.

That would be their downfall – it was too soon since Mother’s death, and both Father and his closest friend were more concerned with protecting her than saving themselves.

But Cass wouldn’t ever know that. She didn’t even see how the fight ended. All she knew was that she woke up the next day, hurting, bandaged…

And female.

“Aw, hell,” Cass muttered to herself. Father’s glamour must have worn off. It always was a bit uncomfortable to go to sleep appearing in all aspects to be male, only to wake up female. Still, Father thought it was safer this way…

Where was Father, anyway? Opening her eyes, Cass tried to sit up, and promptly passed out.

When she came back to, a moment later, she took much more care to sit up and look around. She’d been injured – some sword wounds, it felt like – but they’d been tended to and bandaged. There were two men with her, one awake, one sleeping. But they weren’t Father or Uncle.

The one who was awake, a large, hairy beast of a man, looked over at her and blinked.

“DUDE!”

“What?” The formerly-sleeping man grunted, annoyed.

“We saved the wrong body!”

“Aw, man…”

“Gee, thanks,” Cass muttered, more to herself as her watcher’s companion sat up. He was wearing Uncle’s chainmail, a fact that her brain registered but refused to comprehend at that point. “What… what happened?”

“Well,” the second man said – smaller than his friend, and less… off-putting. “There were five dead orcs by the end. Three others ran away. Two men were there, too. Dead…” he spoke carefully, seeming to watch to see how Cass reacted to this news. She nodded to herself. Of course they were dead, it was the only resolution that made sense. A part of her felt she should grieve about this, but now wasn’t the time, so she pushed the emotion away. She’d gotten good at that.

“The bodies were all looted, too,” the larger man said helpfully, looking at Cass curiously. “And you were not a girl when we bandaged you up.”

“Father had an illusion spell he used on me. A gnomic glamour,” Cass frowned at the men, wondering just how much looting had been by their hands.

Still, they hadn’t had to care for her…

“I’m Cass,” she offered eventually. The larger man introduced himself as Bark, the smaller as his half-brother, Gygax.

“We’re lumber trappers!”

“Lumber trappers,” Cass repeated, dubiously. There were no trees in the area. This didn’t seem to phase them, however, so she didn’t ask.

It was clear she wasn’t going to be able to walk, and although Bark offered to carry her, Cass demurred. They had a rather nice camp by the river, anyhow…

The next day, Gygax was keeping watch when he noticed something in the air a ways from them. Well, some things. As he drew Cass and Bark’s attention to it, they were able to make out a winged horse, fighting off a half-dozen harpies.

The Pegasus was putting up a good fight, taking down one of them with a well-placed kick while they watched. The rest were beginning to wear it down, however, and even as it killed two more, the Pegasus crashed into the river a short distance away from them, taking the fourth harpy with it, teeth clenched in a death grip around its neck.

Cass didn’t even pause to think – or see what the brothers would do. She fired off two flame darts in quick succession, catching the attention of the remaining two harpies that tore at the dying Pegasus’ flank. Hissing, the harpies charged the small group, spurring Cass to scrabble for another spell.

The fireball knocked her out briefly, but it killed at least one of the creatures, wounding the other enough that a slightly-singed Bark and Gygax made quick work of it.

Sadly, the Pegasus hadn’t survived, but Cass, Bark and Gygax had, and so the boys began to search the bodies, Gygax even collecting the harpy claws and feathers from both the harpies and the Pegasus for the still mostly-prone Cass.

“I don’t suppose you have Father’s spellbook?” She asked while cleaning the claws as best she could. “Unless you two are Hats, I’d like to relearn those spells I just spent at some point.”

Bark muttered something about not having seen any book, nor believing in magic, but Gygax seemed to give the request more thought. After a moment, he pulled the book from his pack and gave it to Cass, along with her sword that he’d also collected. Smiling her thanks, Cass turned her attention back to helping them deal with the kills, as best she could.

She had nowhere else to go, anyway. May as well see where her current company took her.

Swords!

2011-07-17T17:15:00.001-06:00

I learned to use swords yesterday.

Chinese Broadswords.

It. Was. Awesome.

That is all (for now).

Dear Back

2011-07-13T20:29:00.000-06:00

Dear Back,

Hi. How's it going. I know we haven't talked in a while, but part of that's because lately you've been doing a pretty good job.

Sure, the workers in RS* have been complaining a bit, but generally you've been holding up well. Considering that I've been training and walking lots, I'm very impressed!

Having said that, it does appear that there's been some dissent in the ranks this week. Have RS started striking? Pulled Sp** into the mess? This can't be about workload again because, as we both know, I've taken care to ensure an appropriate division of labour.

So what's the deal? You're usually much better at letting me know the cause for any complaints - you're right, I really should stop trying to carry my own weight in boxes sometimes - but this week it's like you've just decided to be a prick.

And now you've apparently decided to take it to the streets! Why is RA*** going numb, Back, why? Did it get the memo about Saturday's sword class? Pro-tip: In this body, the appropriate response to weapons is not numbness.

I suggest you mediate immediately, Back. Perhaps a team meeting is required? Don't make me bring HR into this.

Thanks, and have a great day!

Sincerely,

CEO, My Body

*Right Shoulderblade

**Spine

***Right Arm

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 14

2011-07-10T19:20:00.000-06:00

14.

Angela’s cell phone buzzed loudly on her desk as it rang. Looking up from the textbook she’d been studying, she checked the caller with a slight frown before flipping it open and answering.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” Sharon’s voice piped up over the static. “Whatcha doing?”

“Just going over my course readings,” Angela shifted in her seat and stretched, switching the phone from one ear to another.

“On a Friday night?”

“If I study now, it means I don’t have to do as much before exams.”

“You know, hon, that’d make a lot more sense if I didn’t know for a fact that you do just as much study – if not more – than I do around exams.”

“Well, I…” Angela struggled for a comeback, much to her friend’s amusement.

“Look,” Sharon laughed, “it’s Friday night and a bunch of us are going to see Mike’s band in town. Come with us.”

“Aw…nah…I think I’ll pass tonight. I want to get this chapter finished.”

“Oh Ange, you’re no fun,” Sharon teased good-naturedly.

“Hey, someone has to do this, or else you’d have no one to come crying to before finals,” Angela grinned to herself at the memory. Her friend laughed again.

“Point. Although I bet you’d come out if Tuyen was joining us,” Sharon teased. When Angela didn’t answer, her friend mocked a gasp.

“He’s not there now is he? You little hussy!”

“Come off it!” Angela snorted a laugh. “No, he’s not here, and yes, I really am studying. Now go enjoy the concert and let me actually finish this damned chapter before it puts me to sleep!”

“Okay, okay. Have it your way. Still good for coffee tomorrow?”

“If you’re not too hung over, sure.”

“It’s a date then. Take care hon!” the static ended with a click as Sharon hung up.

Angela put the phone down and went back to her book, only to find her concentration gone as she wondered about Tuyen. It had only been a week since they’d gone to the movie together, and the time between each of her meetings with Tuyen was usually close to a month.

Still, she thought wistfully, unconsciously playing with the feather on her pendant, it’d be nice to see him again soon.

A knock on the door startled Angela out of her thoughts. She was about to get up from her desk when she heard one of her roommates clatter down the hallway in what sounded like heels and answer the door.

Sighing to herself, Angela rested her chin on the palm of her hand and refocused on her reading, only to be disturbed moments later.

“Studying on a Friday night?” a familiar voice spoke from the doorway, startling Angela. Twisting in her seat, Angela blinked in surprise to see Tuyen leaning against the doorway, an easy smile on his face. “Don’t you ever take a break, Goddess?”

“I…uh…” Angela frowned and shook her head. “How’d you get in here?”

“One of your roommates let me in,” Tuyen tilted his head and smiled at her. Blushing and dropping her head, Angela folded a corner of the page she was reading to mark it and closed the book, turning her attention back to her guest.

“So…uh…what’s up?” she struggled to sound casual. “Didn’t think I’d see you for another few weeks.”

“I’m sorry,” Tuyen’s forehead creased in a concerned frown. “Do you want me to go?”

“No! I just…usually don’t see you more than once every few weeks…” Angela resisted the urge to cringe at her words. Tuyen seemed to make her feel like a neurotic stalker at times. It really was an uncanny skill of his.

“Heh, I guess you’re right,” Tuyen grinned wryly. “I just happened to be free tonight, and I thought I’d stop by.” He nodded towards the books that hid Angela’s desk from view. “So, are you going to bury your nose in those books all night? Or can I persuade you to take a break? I’m willing to bet you haven’t eaten yet.”

When Angela’s cheeks flushed in unconscious confirmation Tuyen nodded, his eyes filling with concern.

“You need to look after yourself, Goddess. You run yourself into the ground, at times.”

Angela snorted and shook her head. “I’m not a goddess, Tuyen. And I’m just trying to stay on top of everything.”

Chuckling softly, Tuyen moved towards Angela and pulled her out of her chair, guiding her towards the door.

“You’ve done nothing but ‘stay on top of everything’ since I met you. Now come on, you need to turn your brain off for a couple of hours.”

“But…I have to study…” Angela protested weakly.

“Not tonight you don’t,” Tuyen scolded as he nudged her towards the living room. “Tonight you need to rest, eat, and take a break before you burn out.” Chuckling again to himself, Tuyen leaned forward and spoke into Angela’s ear as he continued to guide her. “Don’t think I won’t tie you to a chair and force feed you, Goddess.”

Angela opened her mouth to protest, before she sighed softly to herself and submitted. She supposed it wouldn’t hurt to take a night off.

Funny though, her mind pointed out, how he turned up when you were thinking about him.

What’s that supposed to mean? Angela asked the mental voice as Tuyen began to inspect what her kitchen had to offer, only to find it once more silenced for the time being.

The Beginning

Transformers. Or: How Michael Bay Ass-Raped my Childhood

2011-07-06T09:00:00.002-06:00

I love the Tranformers. I grew up with the original cartoon, and later with Beast Wars - one of the few truly decent attempts at updating a show.

When Michael Bay released the first movie, I didn't even question whether or not I would go - They had most of the original voices returning, the concept art looked cool... I was a lost cause. And it wasn't even that bad - the bits with the humans were kind of awkward and embarrasing, but overall it was a fairly solid film.

The sequel came out, the trailers looked amazing... once again, I had no hope of resisting. But oy, this one. This one was terrible. Whenever Optimus Prime was on screen, it was great, but he was only there for about twenty minutes total. Disappointing, to say the least. Fucking awful, to say more.

I was... not looking forward to the third one. I'm not really a big fan of Megan Fox, but the hoopla over her quitting - namely, the reasons, and the reasons the other girl was cast (she's been in adult magazines! She totally doesn't mind acting like a hoor!) - and Michael Bay's general ass-hattery just left me feeling cold.

But I heard that this one featured the Transformers more - one of my biggest problems with this entire film franchise has been all this focus on the humans, when they're not meant to be the focus of the film - and was better than the second, so Boyfriend and I went along.

We didn't even make it half an hour. During that half hour, we had maybe ten minutes of Transformers - now with more racism! - including Optimus Prime throwing a hissy fit and pouting, while the rest of it was focused on the humans, who as a whole have become odious, reprehensible people that I cannot stand to watch.

And this one is meant to be an improvement?!

Bleh. Fuck you, Bay. Thank God he's done with the franchise.

I hope.

AFK

2011-07-03T11:52:00.000-06:00

I have a test in a week.

I promise I'll try be more interesting when I get back, but now...

I need to go wibble now.

Apologies

2011-06-28T21:00:00.000-06:00

What do you do when the wrong person apologises?

Do you just accept and move on as a unit, or hold out for something you'll likely never get?

But at what price? To what gain?

...Why does it even bother me?

Goddesses Don't Get Sick: Chapter 13

2011-06-26T14:00:00.000-06:00

13.

Angela surveyed herself in the mirror with a frown, twisting to check her outfit from the back. Was a dress too much for a movie? Angela sighed softly and conceded to herself that it probably was.

A gust of wind that rattled the window confirmed her thoughts as she changed out of the sundress she’d been wearing and into a pair of jeans and a tank top. Looking again in the mirror, Angela nodded in satisfaction. It was casual, but she had to admit that she looked good.

Checking her bedside clock – 5.45pm – Angela quickly ran a brush through her hair before she began to look through her meagre collection of makeup.

As she picked through the bag, Angela found herself trying to remember if Tuyen had ever seen her with makeup on, and whether he preferred her without it.

Eventually settling for a clear lip gloss, Angela applied it and, after a moment of indecision, added the gloss to her purse. Moments later, there was a knock at the door. Early. Of course he is.

Taking a breath to settle her nerves, Angela gathered her things and went to answer it, trying to tell herself not to take it too seriously. After all, it’s not a date…

Tuyen knocked on the door and ran a hand nervously through his hair, ruffling it. Seconds later, he reached up again to smooth it down, before ruffling it again in agitation.

Laughing shakily at himself, Tuyen shook his head to settle his hair to its normal, half-kept state as he waited for Angela to answer the door.

Calm down, he told himself. It’s not a date, just a movie. Why’re you so nervous? She’s a friend…just a friend…

He was still convincing himself when Angela opened the door, her smile lighting up her face and making his breath catch in his throat.

Matching her smile, Tuyen waited for her to lock the door as he mentally pushed away his nerves.

After all, it’s just a movie…

“You didn’t have to pay” Angela protested.

“Why not?”

“I invited you. You should have at least let me pay.”

“It’s customary for the guy to pay,” Tuyen looked at Angela as they handed their tickets to the usher, his forehead creased in a slight frown of confusion as he held the door open for her. She stared at him in disbelief, trying to judge his seriousness.

“In the fifties, maybe. Didn’t you get the memo about chivalry being dead?” Angela eventually chuckled as she moved past Tuyen and sought out a seat, missing the blank look on his face. Shaking his head, he pushed his confusion aside and sat down next to her, an awkward silence falling as they waited for the movie to start.

Whether by way of distracting himself, or genuine curiosity, Tuyen seemed fascinated with the design of the room, his eyes studying the layout, before they drifted back to his friend. Angela stared at him with a quizzical expression until Tuyen cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the movies.” He offered by way of explanation. Angela shook her head in vague amusement, before she reached into his lap and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

Watching her eat with a soft smile, Tuyen wondered what to say next, before the room went dark and the projector started up, drawing the pair’s attention as the trailers began to play.

The distraction of the film dissipated the nerves both Angela and Tuyen were feeling, restoring the pair to the easy companionship they often felt together. Without even thinking about it, Angela shifted in her seat until she was leaning against Tuyen, her head resting on his shoulder as her hand stole into his lap for more popcorn. He turned his head and looked at her for a moment, seeming unsure of what to do.

Eventually, he shifted until his arm was around her shoulders and turned his attention back to the screen, valiantly ignoring the soft muttering of his fears in the back of his mind.

“So what did you think?” Angela asked as they milled out of the theatre with the rest of the crowd. Tuyen was wearing a confused expression on his face and hadn’t spoken since the credits rolled.

Worried that she’d somehow offended or upset him by her choice of film, Angela was about to repeat her question when he finally he stirred from his thoughts.

“I didn’t get it.”

Angela blinked in surprise. “What was there to get? It was an action film. I thought guys loved anything with explosions.”

Tuyen shrugged and shook his head, his frown deepening as he voiced his thoughts.

“The movie was fine but…the wings on those characters…they wouldn’t work.”

“What?”

“The wings. How could anyone in their right mind think wings that small would carry them?!”

Angela stared at him again, wondering for the second time that evening if he was serious. “It’s…a movie, Tuyen. Science fiction. The wings were digital effects.”

“I know that,” Tuyen protested. “But it’s just…it can’t work! It’s impossible.”

“Yeah, but the entire concept for a person to fly without some sort of mechanical device is impossible.”

“No,” Tuyen shook his head, “that part is possible; the wings were just too small.”

Angela laughed until she caught the serious expression on Tuyen’s face.

“You actually believe that?” she asked uncertainly. Tuyen nodded with complete conviction.

“It’s possible. You just need to get the ratio right.”

The pair stopped walking and stood outside the theatre, the serious expression on Tuyen’s face matched by the confusion on Angela’s.

“Did you study physics or something?” she eventually asked. “Biology maybe?”

Tuyen looked at her and tilted his head quizzically.

“Not really, why?”

“How do you know all this?”

Smiling wryly, Tuyen rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “I…read a lot?” he ventured. Angela shook her head, before letting out a short laugh.

“And I thought I had trouble letting go of reality.” Looking back up at Tuyen, she smiled and punched him gently in the shoulder.

“C’mon, let’s go get some food. You like pizza?”

The Beginning

Heat

2011-06-22T20:17:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry, my darlings, but it's just too hot.

I am not used to these temperatures, and I had to walk home. In the heat. 3.5miles. IN THE HEAT.

I am going to go and fall down, now. I'll try be more imaginative later.

<3

Car

2011-06-19T13:53:00.000-06:00

I have owned a grand total of two cars in my lifetime. Well, even that's arguably erroneous, as Boyfriend and I share Goliath, and I never actually purchased my other car, but that's besides the point.

Shortly after I obtained my driver's permit in New Zealand, I got a job at a local cafe'. This meant that I was borrowing Mum's car a fair bit. We lived out in Whitford, a rural area, and this meant that getting anywhere necessitated a ten minute drive, minimum.

So one day, Mum and Dad come home with a car for me. Considering I was fifteen or sixteen at the time, I was understandably thrilled by this development.

The car wasn't anything flash - a mid-90s Toyota Corsa, two-door hatchback - but it was practical, affordable, and reliable. I fucking loved it.

This car took me all through high school, university, and beyond. I took it all over the North Island on a number of occasions, regularly taxi'd my friends around, took it to the mountains... I had it serviced regularly and only had to replace the battery and tires once, and because it was a mainstream model, everything was affordable.

It had a couple of dings on it - I scraped the side of a wheel arch once or twice when misjudging a tight corner, and there was a dent on the hood from some prick in high school throwing something at it, but I never had an accident.

When I was planning to move out to America, I spent a fair bit of time trying to figure out what to do with my car. It wouldn't get a lot of money if sold, given its age, and it was hardly a classic or anything. I debated giving it to Flatmate, but she was making her own plans for a car and so I eventually decided to just give it to Mum and Dad to do with as they would. After all, they're the ones who had bought it in the first place.

Just before I was due to leave, an old friend of Mum's had a car accident that left her's destroyed. We talked about it, and decided to offer it to her for at least the year that my current visa is valid for. She tried to protest, because she's not used to people as genuinely nice as my Parents offering something without strings, but about a month after I left, she gratefully accepted the offer.

Two weeks ago, she totalled my car. My car that I had since high school. My car that I never had an accident in. She had it less than six months.

I can only laugh, really. Lord knows what she's going to do for a replacement this time, though...