Allrighty, my darlings, let’s try another of these. Today’s pick? The Omen. This 1976 gem begins in Rome, at 6am on June the 6th.
A man is being driven to the hospital, while in his head he is replaying what the priest told him of the child his wife just gave birth to. It’s dead. But he knows his wife will be devastated. So, when the priest says that another baby was born at the same time, but the mother died, he decides to pull a switcheroo and raise the baby as his own.
“Your wife need never know…”
And thus, we are introduced to Damien Thorn, son of Robert and Katherine Thorn. Shortly after this, Robert is named the US ambassador to Britain. Powerful man. And a happy family.
Let’s cut to his fifth birthday, shall we? In which Damien’s nanny looks at a dog and… goes to hang herself. And oh hey! There’s the Second Doctor, I mean, a priest! And a photographer!
And then the Doctor shows up at the Embassy, telling Robert that he needs to take communion and accept Christ and this is only the beginning. Bah. Crazies these days.
The new nanny shows up – Mrs. Baylock is basically the Mary Poppins from hell.
“Have no fear, Little One, for I am here to protect thee.”
Damien smiles, like the creepy little shit he is. <3
Next thing you know, we’re going to church! But Mrs. Baylock says that Damien doesn’t wanna. Katherine won’t have any of this shit, and thus Damien joins them in the car. Only, as they approach the church, he begins to freak out, and then throws a shitfit and attacks his mother.
I have to admit, this kind of theory about demons and such not being able to enter a church is arguably erroneous, but I suppose with the argument of how they are unholy, it fits. And it makes for a fun scene in the movie, that ultimately results with the Thorns having to abandon the wedding.
Later that night, Robert talks with Katherine about how odd it is that Damien has never gotten sick in his life, but Katherine brushes it off. Robert then finds a Rottweiler (the same dog that hypno-killed the original nanny) in the house, growling at him, and chews out Mrs. Baylock for letting it in.
“But Damien loves him, Sir!”
“If we get a dog, I will do it, and I will choose it.”
Next scene! Let’s go to the zoo! Man, none of the animals seem to like Damien. The giraffes all run away, and when they drive through the monkey exhibit, the baboons attack the car. Damned dirty apes!
Wait, wrong movie.
Katherine is naturally a bit freaked out, and wants to talk to a pshrink. Understandable.
Let’s cut to a game of rugby! Did you know that the scrum is self-evident? (Just roll with it). The Doctor shows up again, tells Robert that his wide is in danger, and convinces him to meet up the next day. The photographer is also there, and takes the Doctor’s photo. He’s been noticing strange things in the photos he develops, see…
But anyway, let’s go visit the Doctor. After spouting some doomsaying prophecy (of which very little is actually in the Bible), the Doctor tells Robert that he a) needs to find out about his son’s origins, and b) needs to stop him from killing Katherine and her unborn child (oh, btw, she’s pregnant!).
Robert lol-no’s the Doctor, and stalks off. Clutching his crucifix as a storm begins to rage around him, the Doctor tries to seek refuge in a nearby church. Is that where you have the TARDIS, Doctor?
We’ll never know. Before he can get inside, lightning strikes the lightning rod, knocks it off the tower, and impales the good Doctor.
Meep.
Katherine, by the way, is not coping, and Damien is beginning to try her nerves. While Robert is asking her if the doctor she is seeing is harming more than helping, she tells him she doesn’t want any more children.
“All right.”
“Then you’ll agree to an abortion? I just found out this morning.”
It is at this point, that Robert realises the Doctor was at least right about some things. And then an anonymous caller informs him of the Doctor’s death. Uh oh…
Robert goes to see Katherine’s pshrink, who tries to convince him to allow the abortion, but he decides that no, there must have been some logic in the Doctor’s words, so he refuses and begins to race home.
While he does, Damien begins tearing around the house on his tricycle, under the watchful eye of Mrs. Baylock, who then sics him on Katherine, knocking her off the balcony and triggering a miscarriage.
She asks Robert, while in the hospital, not to let ‘him’ kill her, and while Robert is starting to realise that something is very wrong and needs righting, the photographer calls him.
See, he’s noticed that in the photos he’s taken of various people – the nanny, and the Doctor – he sees shadows that foretells their deaths. He did some digging about the Doctor’s death, and finds out that he was riddled with cancer, and had the birthmark 666 on his thigh. Or was it a tattoo? They visit his room in the church, and find it full of crosses, and wallpapered with pages from the Bible. They also find a diary that stalks Roberts actions.
While the photographer is trying to piece together what is up with all these damned 6s, Robert admits that he knows nothing about the boy he’s raising, not his family, certainly. Robert decides he needs to look into this, and – because of a photo he took of himself that has a line crossing his throat – the photographer is kind of invested in also finding out what’s up.
And so, they’re off!
First stop, the hospital in Rome where Robert agreed to the switch. Except it’s different, now – the old hospital burned down five years ago. They go inside and try to find some information, regardless, but it looks as though everything was lost. Robert implores with a nun for help, but she insists that there were no adoptions.
Robert does, however, find out about the priest, and is sent to a monastery to find him. Along the way, they find out that the Devil’s child is mean to rise in the world of politics… you mean like with an ambassador for a(n adoptive) father? Dun dun dunnnnn!
Turns out the priest… isn’t so much able to talk. What with him having being burned and struck mute and all… but after Robert cajoles (read: yells), he writes on the ground and sends them to a cemetery. They dig up the grave, and find that Damien’s mother was a jackal, and also that Robert’s son was murdered.
Sounds like a perfect time for some Rottweilers to show up. Or an ad break, depending on how you’re watching this… The dogs attack, and the men barely make it out alive. Robert calls Katherine and tells her to gtfo, but Mrs. Baylock throws her out of a window before she can leave the hospital.
Robert is a wee bit upset about this, and comes to the conclusion that the Doctor was right. They have to kill his son. They go to a town near Jerusalem, where an excavation is taking place, and Robert meets a man who gives him the seven daggers of Megiddo, telling him this is the only way to kill Damien.
Robert starts to have doubts, and although the photographer is willing, he coincidentally gets decapitated. Robert oh-fucks for a bit, and heads home with the daggers in hand (ah, the good old days when you could carry weapons on board a plane…).
Robert goes home, locks the dog in the basement, dispatches Mrs. Baylock, and drags a very… er… reluctant Damien to hallowed ground, in order to kill him. Police show up, and we zoom in on a gun as it goes off.
We cut to a funeral, and as it slowly pans back, we find that – not only are there only two, adult-sized coffins – but Damien is there, holding hands with the US President (a good friend of Robert’s, don’t you know). He turns, and grins darkly at the camera.
I have to say, not my favourite horror – some of the inconsistencies that have perpetuated as a result do bother me, but overall it is a classic, and an enjoyable one.
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